“Thinging” with a guy is fun at first. You correspond over social media and hang out in person. It can be really fun, but it can also be really confusing. After a while, someone will ultimately ghost the other person, and it might hurt a little if you’re the one who was ghosted. Here are some ways to get over it.
1. Get a new music playlist ASAP with upbeat songs.
Don’t let the song “Almost Lover” get anywhere near it. Usually your go-to playlist is littered with songs you listened to together or songs he recommended. Get rid of that playlist and don’t look back.
2. Don’t replay everything over and over again in your mind. Be done.
You can go over what you may have done wrong and talk your friend’s ear off, but just accept that it’s over. If it’s hard to accept that person ghosted you, just remember that the way they stopped talking to you says everything about them and nothing about you.
3. Look at yourself in the mirror and see how beautiful you are.
You’re fantastic! Sometimes the person we like can make us feel insecure, which is not good. Remember who you are and what your values are. If they make you feel unsure about yourself, they’re not worth the trouble.
4. Remember all of the flaws you overlooked.
There were red flags during the course of the “thing,” but you probably overlooked them because you liked the person. Remember those weird things they said or did and be happy you’re done.
5. Remember that if it’s not this guy, it’ll be someone who is nicer, cuter, and way funnier.
There are so many fish in the sea! As soon as you get this old person out of your head, another one will come along and be way better. I promise.
6. Read Rupi Kaur.
Her poems explain heartache, but she also gives hope. She emphasizes the importance of being okay on your own and finding yourself, “loneliness is a sign you are in desperate need of yourself.”
7. Listen to “How to Be a Heartbreaker” by Marina and the Diamonds.
Seriously, it’s such a good song. Listen to empowering songs with a good beat. Other good songs include “You Don’t Own Me” by Lesley Gore and “Pearl” by Katy Perry.
8. Focus on your friends and family instead of being inwardly focused on what is happening in your life.
I find that turning your attention to someone else’s problems or to a new hobby keeps your mind busy. Also, spending time with friends and family is fun!
9. Be open to meeting new people. Go to parties because you might meet someone new!
You never know when you’ll meet someone interesting, so if you can have fun, do it. There’s no point in wallowing or feeling sad.
10. Realize you’re super cool and even he can’t take that away from you.
You will always be fantastic, and don’t let him take away your sunshine. Allowing other people to control your happiness is no way to live.
And remember, Cheryl Strayed is right, you know, “You let time pass. That’s the cure. You survive the days. You float like a rabid ghost through the weeks. You cry and wallow and lament and scratch your way back up through the months. And then one day you find yourself alone on a bench in the sun and you close your eyes and lean your head back and you realize you’re okay.”
Learn to be happy by yourself. And when you’re sitting on that park bench with the sun beating down on your face, you’ll feel free.