My brothers and I shared most of our major life experiences: we were born at the same time, got our wisdom teeth out on the same day, and all left for college on the same morning. Naturally, as triplets, it’s a given that a lot of our defining moments are going to be shared. But even though we moved out on the same day, we didn’t move out together. I chose Belmont and a major in Publishing while they’re going to the University of Tennessee Knoxville to study Computer Science, making it the first time in we’ve not all gone to the same school.
I’m not going to lie, when I said goodbye to them the morning the three of us moved out, I cried. I knew it wasn’t the last time I was going to see them, but I knew our relationship was never going to be the same again. It’s not that I wish we were all together—UTK is a great fit for them and I adore Belmont—it’s just weird that my built-in best friends aren’t with me. For the first time, I’ve had to explain the context of my life to them. It’s strange, picking up my phone to text my co-triplets about something funny that happened in class and then realize I would have to explain the background of the incident. For the first time, they don’t already know what’s going on in my life. If something happens, I have to set aside time to tell them instead of them already knowing. For the first time, I have to figure out a way to include them in my daily life instead of them being here, a part of it.
So far, it’s been hard to integrate them into my new life at Belmont, and maybe that’s a good thing. Sure, I Snapchat them and we text a couple times a day, but it’s not the same. It’s not walking three steps across the hallway and knocking on one of their doors. I know that it’s for the best we’re separated, and I’m glad for the chance to explore myself as just me, not as the conglomerate we’ve been lumped into. Even though the three of us have distinctly different personalities, our identities were often seen as a conglomerate, “the triplets”—it’s an inherent part of spending every day with your siblings beside you. My brothers have never restrained me, though. I’m thankful for their support, even when they tease me about my passion for the humanities. I’m excited to be able to explore my individuality, push myself to my limits, and really evaluate my self-identity. I’m still adjusting, though, to being separated from my co-triplets. It’s the little things that make me miss them. The movie reference only they would understand. The absent dinner table debates. The moments when I refer to myself as “we” (“Yeah, we have a cat and a dog.” “Oh, we went there last summer!”) and have to explain. As I settle into my new home, I’m settling into the new long-distance relationship we have. But change is a part of life, and I’m blessed that I’m experiencing it at Belmont where I’ve already found a new family, one that welcomes me as a whole and not as a third.