Like most people, twenty was a big birthday for me. You are no longer a teenager, but do not feel like an adult either. I went back to my hometown for my birthday, a roughly five hour journey via Greyhound. As we drove, enveloped by the intense emerald of trees and mountains of the Coquihalla, my mind wondered about what this year would hold. I knew the obvious answers – declaring my major, entering my third year of university, completing my first internship – but I became lost in the unknown. As most of the people my age, I still have a lot to figure out. Still, I felt that it might be helpful, for myself and others, to think about all of the things I have learned.
So, here are 20 things that I’ve learned in 20 years:
1. You will change you mind, a lot
Whether it be things as minor as your personal style to things as big as your major, change is an inevitable part of growth. Since starting universtity, I have learned a lot about what I like and don’t like, and those new beliefs are constantly being challenged. You don’t have to be the exact same person you were when you graduated high school and, if we’re being real, do you really want to be?
2. You have to put more effort into friendships
It’s far easier to maintain friendships when you eat lunch together every day in the cafeteria; thus, post high school, making time to call or visit is extra important. That said, as you grow and become a different person, you may find that the only thing you had in common with your high school friends was where you lived. This advice also applies to the friendships you make in university because as you become busy with school, jobs, and clubs it’s nearly impossible to stay close with your first year bffs unless you dedicate the time.
3. You will get grades below an A and you will be okay
As high school seniors, we are all warned that our grades will most likely take a dip in university. Still, like a lot of other people, I figured that I would be the exception and still maintain high A’s with minimal effort. However, especially if you are pursuing an Arts degree, it’s nearly impossible to get a perfect mark in university. I’ve learned that as long as I am proud of the work I’m doing and understand the material, having a 4.0 isn’t that important (Spoiler Alert: once you’re in the real world, no one is going to ask you what mark you got on an exam in your first year).
4. Separating colours in the wash is a waste of time (and money if you have to pay for loads)
I haven’t separated my clothes in the wash for two years now and I’ve never noticed a difference. That said, I still would be cautious about throwing a bright red sock in with a bunch of white clothing. For the most part, however, I think this is a pointless pursuit.
5. Drinking water between alcoholic drinks will save your life
Having a glass of water between mixed drinks and after shots will SIGNIFICANTLY reduce your chances of A) throwing up later that night, and B) throwing up the next day. Alcohol seriously dehydrates you which, surprise suprise, leads to awful hangovers. Bonus: do sober you a favour and switch to water an hour before you know you’ll be heading home and going to bed, and have a full water bottle ready for when you wake up.
6. It’s okay to say no
It’s important to challenge yourself and reach beyond your comfort zone, but that doesn’t mean you need to say yes to everything. If you know in your heart that something-or someone-isn’t right for you, you can say no. This also applies to favours: yes, it is important to help out your friends and be a good person, but sometimes saying yes to driving your friend across the city to buy and move a couch at six am when you work at noon isn’t the best idea. As important as being generous is, it’s okay to be selfish sometimes.
7. Some days you will feel like a Victoria’s Secret Model and other days you will feel like Sid the Sloth
Confidence plays an essential role in feeling good about the way you look. Because we are human, it’s natural that, even if no one else can see a difference on the outside, some days you will feel like you are ready to strut the runway while other days you will think none of your clothes look good on you and there is definitely something wrong with the left side of your face. All I can say about the bad days is that you need to remind yourself that our bodies are not immutable and some days you are going to feel bloated or have a breakout. Put on something comfy and know that you’ll be back to feeling like your best self soon enough.
8. Wearing lots of makeup doesn’t mean that you are insecure and not wearing makeup doesn’t mean that you are superior
Because I don’t wear makeup on a daily basis, I’ve been guilty of judging others that go through the effort of putting on a full face everyday. It is not my place to judge anyone and it does not make me more confident or “better” because I don’t wear it often. We don’t criticize people for putting effort into their hair or clothes, so how can we hate on people that put effort into their makeup?
9. Don’t agree with/join in with your friends when they are ranting about their parents
Just don’t.
10. Any bad day can be solved by watching Jenna Marbles
I’ve been watching Jenna’s videos since middle school. Not only is she hilarious, but you can tell she is also a genuinely good person that cares for others. On my worst days, I like to watch a few of her videos to remind myself not to take things so seriously and that life is meant to be enjoyed and sometimes a little silly. Click here or here for some of my favourites!
11. ALWAYS wear sunscreen
There are few things that feel worse than a bad sunburn, so why put yourself through the pain? If It’s it too much for you to apply it too all exposed skin, at least make sure to put some on your face. Note: this is essential for ALL seasons, not just summer.
12. Some days you will be the poster child for health, and other days you will eat junk
Eating healthy and treating your body right is extremely important, but that doesn’t mean you need to give up your favourite snacks forever. I am by no means encouraging binge eating, but I also believe that if you indulge in a bag of chips in one sitting you should not feel guilty. It’s natural and normal to give into cravings sometimes!
13. Have physical copies of photos and put them in an album
In the summer following my senior year of high school, I printed all of my favourite pictures off of Facebook and Instagram to put in a photo album to bring with me to university. Since then, I have continued adding photos. There’s something nostalgic and sweet about being able to pour over old photographs in an album, laughing at the way you used to part your hair or how silly you and your best friend were. Bonus: this also protects photos/memories from future online deleting binges when you decide to purge your Instagram feed.
14. When shopping, choose quality over quantity
It’s better in the long run to save up for a good pair of shoes or a great pair of jeans that you absolutely love than to spend small amounts of money on a bunch of things you kind of like. Sure, you can buy five shirts for less than ten dollars at Forever 21, but is it really worth it when most of those items will sit in your closet unused, or wear out within the first few washes. It feels a lot better to have small closet of quality items than piles of cheaply made clothing.
15. Invest in a go-to black blazer, black dress, dress pants, and sturdy flats
Upon entering university and the real world, these items will become essential for class presentations, club events, and interviews. It’s great to have at least one go-to for these occasions so that you’re aren’t scrambling for something to wear the night before.
16. Your parents are the best friends you’ll ever have
They are the people that will always put you first, giving you criticism when you need it, and genuinely have your best interests at heart. Now that I live away from home and do not have them around me all the time, I realize how much I took these things for granted. Luckily, they are only a phone call away when I need anything.
17. Never drop your friends or the things you love doing for a relationship
This is a really difficult lesson to learn, but it is important. Especially when the relationship is brand new, it’s understandable to want to spend all your free time with your SO, but you have to keep a balance. If you blow off your friends every time they ask you to hangout or, even worse, cancel on them for your SO, they will eventually stop asking. In addition, it is important to stay involved in activities that you liked doing before you were in a relationship that you can continue to do alone. No matter how amazing your SO is, you both need time to do your own things in order to have a healthy relationship. This will make you both stronger in the long run and, if you ever do break up, you won’t feel completely lost and alone.
18. When presented with a new idea that you do not agree with, keep an open mind and realize how your own biases may be holding you back
Just because an idea seems absurd to you, does not mean it is a stupid idea. I’ve learned that simply listening without judgment and trying to see someone else’s perspective can be enlightening and allow you to grow. If you still don’t agree with them after hearing their side, then at least you can confidently argue your opinion knowing the alternative.
19. Buffets are nearly always a bad idea
Because you want to feel like you are getting your money’s worth, it is incredibly unlikely that you will not overeat at a buffet. I don’t think I’ve ever come away from one not feeling sickly full and upset with myself for eating enough food for three people. Lesson: stay away!
20. If you don’t actively make your dreams come true, they never will
Opportunities will present themselves to you and sometimes it is about being in the right place at the right time, but it is ultimately what you do with those opportunities that makes a difference. If you just expect things to happen for you with minimal effort, you will not get where you want to go. But, if you stay positive and flexible in the path you take to reach your goals, anything really is possible.
I hope you learned something new today, HCUBC Cuties. Thank you for reading this article and please let us know what lessons you’ve learned and are currently learning.
All GIFs were taken from https://giphy.com/