I hail from the blue state of Minnesota and from the liberal town of St. Paul. I had little exposure to contrasting discourse and was comfortable in the space of my like-minded peers. Transitioning from St. Paul, Minnesota to St. Louis, Missouri was an eight-hour drive, a color switch, and an ideology change. Missouri was the opposite of my progressive Minnesotan bubble I was accustomed to.
While challenging, engaging with people with different ideologies freshmen year proved to be incredibly valuable. More often than not, we would leave with the same views and our opinions remained unchanged but we had a newfound respect. Listening to someone’s reasoning instead of assuming you know it contributed to my ability to not only understand but empathize with those who disagreed with me.
One of the biggest learning experiences I had was when a friend of mine invited me to one of the Students for Life’s meetings on campus. SFL is a national organization that champions pro-life causes, specifically emphasizing working to abolish abortions. I am strongly pro-choice and disagree passionately with this group. However, after my friend invited me along I thought it could be an excellent experience to debunk many of the stereotypes I held about the group and to learn about the beliefs of those who differ from me.
This turned out to be partially true: the meeting was emotionally draining and many of the stereotypes I heard were validated by certain member’s comments. But, I gained insight to the frustrations many of the members feel and have heard the exact same frustrations echoed by people on the other side. I am just as much of a culprit of stereotyping others and have often disregarded someone entirely because of a single belief they hold. Many of the stereotypes pro-life people are tired of are shocking similar to the stereotypes pro-choice people are tired of. Each side feels thoroughly misunderstood.
Many of the members had just gone to the March for Life and were feeling invigorated from the experience; the exact same way I had felt after the Women’s March. Despite being on completely different sides of the issue, there was a beautiful way in which we were able to connect over the incredible feeling of being fully surrounded by others who were fervently fighting for the same cause that you were.
There are so many similarities in the way we feel about the causes we are fighting for and even when you think there is no possible way to find a middle ground: there is. The President of SFL has my phone number and texts me when she thinks an event might be something I’m interested in. Members have reached out to me before looking to have productive conversations and learn from me and my beliefs. Being present at a meeting where many of my values were attacked was challenging, I won’t lie, but the benefits that have come from it feel worth it. Just my physical presence impacted the club and made many of the members second guess themselves before they call someone pro-choice an unflattering insult.
Common ground is possible. Pushing yourself to go to an event that will make you squirm is one way to inflict a possible change in the way our discourse is centered in America. Regardless of where we come from and what we believe, we are all human beings. It’s unlikely you’ll change someone on the opposite side’s mind and you may leave feeling discouraged BUT having the respect to hear someone out is a powerful tool that opens up so many more doors than an argument does. We create an image of someone that stems from their beliefs instead of remembering the simple fact: we are all people. Once we master this concept, a bridge to conversation can be built.