So…you’ve been broken up with. If you’re reading this, you probably didn’t see the signs, the breakup may have even felt out of the blue, and more likely than not, you’ve probably painted your recent ex as “the one who got away.” And after recapping all the happy, wonderful moments of being in love day after day, night after night, and hosted your own personal pity party, you’ve probably convinced yourself that you’ll never find another relationship, or a partner, quite like that one again.
Breakups always seem to have the magical power of making all of your exes’ faults disappear. The person who was lazy, and ambitionless, and always forgot to take the trash out, suddenly becomes the hero in your story, and only their “good moments” stand at out in your memory of them. In retrospect, the person who didn’t give you an orgasm, and never paid for dinner quickly vanishes, and your “other half,” “your missing piece,” stands in its place.
Want to erase all of your significant others flaws? Get them to tragically break up with you, and before you know it you’ll be worshipping the ground they walk on, forgetting all about their bad habits and vices, and idolizing your relationship like you never have before. They like to say that “everything looks prettier in retrospect,” and after being recently broken up with—nothing feels more like the truth than those five words.
The unfortunate part of it all is that when we look back on our “loves that lost,” we can never seem to remember the things that made us doubt the relationship. And much like mid-relationship you, post-relationship you can never seem to recall the warning signs, the big red flashing lights that signaled exactly why you two were never really a match in the first place. Instead, you are left to drown in all the sappy moments that collect to form your own personal early 2000’s movie montage.
So with that, let this be your reminder that no, your ex is not the perfect one for you, simply because they left—and your “missing piece” has to, at least, be in the picture. And truthfully, the rose-colored glasses you put on the moment they left are only blinding you to all the shitty things about them that you hated in the first place. No one is perfect. And more importantly, no one is perfect for you. No one is going to complete you, or fix you, or give you a magical, perfect, romantic comedy life. And to quote John Green, “what a treacherous thing to believe that a person is more than a person.”