“How was your exchange?” …
As a student who has returned from a bi-lateral exchange to Northern Ireland and is actively attempting to acclimate to life at Queen’s once again, I never know how to answer this perfectly polite question. No words in the English vocabulary seem satisfactory to encapsulate the epic experience of my seven months abroad.
I now have solidified three stockpile answers to this question, ranging from simple and sweet to overly dramatic and theatrical (depending on my mood that day).
1. It was amazing! Thanks for asking! 2. It was even better than I thought it could be! It was really what I needed and I miss it so much. Thanks for asking! 3. It was LITERALLY the best thing that has ever happened…ever…it was absolute perfection. Thanks for asking!
All of these responses are, in some personal way, truthful and honest and no external person needs to, nor will be able to, fully comprehend the life I lived abroad. That is the most wonderful and freeing thing about embarking on an exchange; it is an opportunity to shed your skin, break your comfort zone, and create your own journey through a evolutionary process of exploration, growth and self-identification. Although this journey will be lonely and stressful at times, you will come back from it a better version of yourself than when you left. That I can promise.
The time you spend abroad is yours and only yours to do with as you please and it can be more flexible than you may assume. I personally chose to extend my stay from June into August by finding a job as an AuPair in Madrid, Spain. You can head out a few weeks early to travel or you could come home for a few weeks in the middle to decompress. You can invite friends and family from your home country to come over and join in on the fun. Ultimately, take care to shape and cultivate your exchange experience in a way that feels right to you, regardless of what other people are doing.
The following are 6 little tips I would love to offer you based off of my own trials and errors:
1. Having run into academic scares myself, I urge you to double and triple check before, during and after your exchange that you have all the courses you need and that your exchange courses will transfer over successfully.
2. Actively create a home for yourself in your host city and country. This place should not just be a stopover in between the rest of your travels. Find a gym, a park, a bar and/or a local coffee shop that grounds you and familiarizes you with your surroundings. Locating places where you feel really welcomed and a sense of belonging are absolutely crucial.
3. Don’t overthink or plan too many trips and details before you go. Spontaneity is key. You never know who or what will come along and it’s often best just to roll with it.
4. Try to avoid getting stuck in an exchange bubble. Reach out and make friends with locals and classmates, or better yet, become a local yourself.
5. Don’t burn yourself out by traveling too frequently or for arduous lengths of time. It’s not a competition, although it may feel like it at times. Budget your time abroad wisely and prioritize the places that you feel personally drawn towards.
6. Allow yourself to live in the moment, feel whatever you’re feeling, and learn from everything and everyone you can.
On a final and more serious note, keep in mind that post-exchange depression and reverse culture shock are very real issues that many people encounter and cannot always easily overcome after two or three months. I still feel waves of heavy nostalgia for my exchange and a strong longing for all of the beautiful people, places and memories I experienced along the way. There will inevitably be some taxing days during and after your exchange but the irreplaceable journey you will forge for yourself will be more than worth it. If you are soon departing for your time abroad, you should be so proud and excited for yourself. Remind yourself of how capable and courageous you are and embrace every aspect of the life-changing trip you’re about to go on. This exchange is just the start of something bigger, the first epic adventure and momentous chapter amongst so many more to come.
Safe travels and enjoy.