For my entire life, college has been constructed as the end goal, the ultimate party, the place that will set me on the path for the rest of my future. The four years spent at a university are hailed as the zenith of our lives, a peak that becomes nearly impossible to top. From early childhood all the way through high school, our society places an endless emphasis on higher education and all that comes with its experiences: the classes, the extracurriculars, the athletics, the dorm life, and the parties. So with almost a full semester’s worth of experiences behind me, I finally sat down to make a few observations about what this all-important step in my life has taught me.
1. People (and more specifically students going through the drastic life change of uprooting their entire lives) want more than anything to appear happy. Ever since I got to Duke, I have seen an endless stream of Snapchat stories of parties and sports games and school events. While we are willing to share the shiniest, most beautiful moments of our lives, no one ever wants to admit that adjusting to a new life is hard. While I’m not encouraging for people to turn their Instagrams into complaint platforms, I do think it is important that we acknowledge the fact that college can be lonely, and it isn’t always the heaven we make it out to be. It is normal to struggle, and when we address this fact we can all feel more comfortable knowing we aren’t alone.
2. Being involved means being brave. The best way to maximize your time at any school is to put yourself out there, and to challenge yourself to look beyond the horizon of the comfortable and towards the unknown. Once the newness and general forced socialization of O-Week passes, people can become more hesitant to try new things or introduce themselves to new people. Don’t. Meet as many new people as possible, whenever possible. College is about learning not only in the classroom, but also from the new people around you.
3. Honest and open communication, in all relationships, are extremely important. From professor-to-student, friend-to-friend, student-to-family, girlfriend-to-boyfriend, all interactions in life can benefit from this. Keeping up with family and friends hundreds of miles away, or even communicating a problem to a roommate can only be done by talking about it. A lot of students will try to mentally label serious problems to minor annoyances or tell themselves that the way they’re feeling isn’t important or worth noticing, but these seemingly small feelings will manifest themselves in unhealthy ways if they aren’t addressed. Being honest with others, and also ourselves, about how we feel is the only way to lead an emotionally healthy lifestyle.
While I am not claiming to be an expert on really anything at this point in my life, I can say that these themes have been reinforced repeatedly during my time here and there is lots to learn from them in order to become a happier, healthier person.