Have you had a look at Kim Kardashian’s instagram account? The theme of the pictures revolves around her brand products, her family, and herself. Click on any of the photos of herself (many in which she is wearing next to nothing) and have a look at the comments below:
“Poor thing you’re going through a mid-life crisis” “What’s wrong with you?” “Too vulgar, you have children! Behave yourself!” “I wonder, what would your kids think of you?” “That’s too much, respect yourself!” “What would you do if your daughter posted something like this?” “Kanye, control your wife!”
A simple fact is, that a professional cannot be linked with sexuality, and mothers (especially older ones) we do not want to link with sexuality. The comments on Kim’s photos revolve strongly around these three themes, she is degrading herself as a professional, a mother/wife should not behave like this, and she is too old to show herself off.
What does the modern sexual politics tell about our society, if a significant part of an individual needs to be hidden or suppressed due to outside pressure? Such pressure is intensified as a woman changes along her life and comes by new roles to take on. Viewing life through a madonna-whore complex suggests that women are allowed to be sexual not when it suits them, but when it is convenient to outside viewers and their pleasure.
Madonna-whore complex dates back to Sigmund Freud, when he described the complex as an inability in men to view their significant others (wives) as sexual beings and/or be aroused by them. In the meanwhile, the same men desire sexual women who are, however, seen as degraded and thus cannot be considered worthy of a husband-wife relationship. The complex creates two mutually exclusive representations of women’s sexuality, and thus limits the way women feel they can portray themselves, as you can only be either or.
Work it girl!
As an example, when we think about professionalism, why would an undressed woman be any less qualified than anyone else? Unless this happens at your office on the CEO’s table, it really should not affect anyone’s opinion about a person’s worth. Workplace is a place of business, and thankfully in the recent years more attention has been paid to unpleasant phenomena such as sexual harassment in those surroundings. But what happens in the realms of one’s private life, whether they like to go skinny dipping or horse back riding naked (which sounds painful to be honest) should not have to be linked to anyone’s professional self.
These days a person can choose to share their sexuality to as many people as they please. Thanks to social media we are able to express ourselves like never before in human history. This break from private to the public unfortunately also brings with it trolls who do not know how to adjust to people’s new found way of expressing a part of themselves. This part has for a long time been seen belonging to the furthest corner of an individual’s private life.
Press play and enjoy – now it’s okay!
Unless, of course, we are talking about porn. When the object of one’s sexual desire is available in just the right form (age, ethnicity, social and marital status, body type) and at the right time for the viewer, it is more than alright that explicit sexual content is made available to large masses of people. Would it then be safe to say that behind the outrage of a woman taking off her clothes when she pleases and the way she pleases is frustration for the lack of control over women’s sexual liberation?
If the topic is of interest to you but the madonna-whore complex is all too familiar, I highly recommend reading Carolyn Bronstein’s book: Battling Pornography – The American Feminist Anti-Pornography Movement, 1976-1986 (2011). The book provides an interesting view point to the conversation about women’s value and sexual liberation. In this piece light is shed on the on-going debate on whether expressing sexuality is empowering or degrading for women. This is a conversation where there are no easy answers, but nonetheless one everyone ought to spend time thinking about.
Illustration by Pinja Oja