After living in Florida for the past 13 years, and identifying as bisexual for the last four, I am used to assuming that the people around me are inherently homophobic. They might seem like completely lovely people otherwise, but there was also an 85% that do not support LGBTQ+ rights. Watching what I had to say, trying to figure out people’s stances without outright asking, being generally terrified has just been a part of my queer experience.
Sharing a story in class in high school was coupled with the knowledge at least three to five of my peers (in classes of 15 max) believed that my sexuality was wrong. It was being the “school gay”. Being one of the few vocal (and educated) people on campus about LGBTQ+ rights automatically meant that I had to debate my right to exist with my peers. It was having to generalize my advocacy to basic human rights in interviews and conversations, so I didn’t automatically tip people off that I was a part of the LGBTQ+ community. I don’t have to do that here at Dickinson.
For the first time, I can talk about my experience as a bisexual/queer identifying woman and hear other’s stories. I don’t have to hide in a room in a building with the couple other LGBTQ+ kids away from where other people could see. I have a bisexual flag on the wall of my dorm. A pin on my bag. I have said in an open space surrounded by people I didn’t know that I am bisexual, and I wasn’t as terrified.
The biggest adjustment to college so far is not the classwork, or being in a new place, or making new friends, or even finding my “niche”. It’s the feeling of not being terrified I accidentally outed myself to someone who is super homophobic. I wonder what else this school will have in store for this Queer First-Year…