Most people who would describe themselves as a coffee person would I say don’t like coffee. The way I like my coffee is really not what coffee is supposed to do – I’d prefer if my coffee didn’t taste like coffee. I prefer the frappuccinos or the lattes where the actual taste of coffee is overwhelmed by flavor. When people suggest going out for coffee (or the mocha machine in commons is out), I flood my coffee with creamers and sugars, in a desperate attempt to get rid of the coffee-ness of at all.
Why then, one may reasonably ask, do I drink coffee? Why not drink a red bull or a soda, which are high in caffeine and, most importantly, aren’t coffee. Firstly, red bulls are gross – they taste like actual motor oil and leave a terrible taste in your mouth. (Having a red bull early in the morning is also weird? Like, I’ve never met anyone who’s in the mood to have a red bull that early). Secondly, I don’t want to have a coke or a root beer in nine in the morning because I’d like to have teeth that aren’t ruined by sugar.
This, my friends, is the predicament I’ve come across. I would classify myself as a tea person as it has flavor and there many to choose from. You can have black tea or green tea or fruit teas and they all have something different to offer. They’re also way easier to make and cheaper too – if you’re not in the mood to steep tea leaves you can just buy a tea bag. Also, the health benefits of various kinds of tea outweigh any health benefits that coffee can give. So why do you drink it then, dear author?
Well firstly – the caffeine content. Coffee, undeniably, gives more caffeine than tea. Tea caffeine has never hit me – I used to drink black tea (which is caffeinated) before bed and never realized it was caffeinated until a friend told me. Coffee, in its purest form, is super healthy but also tastes like gasoline. People who like black coffee are actually just pretending to like it because they think they’re cool.
Also, this may just be my personal bias coming in, but I’ve never met a tea purist. I have, by contrast, met several coffee purists, who have told me the reason I don’t like coffee is that the beans aren’t right, or something. (I think Columbian coffee is the best supposedly?) This is some BS – if you have to have a very specific bean to have it taste good then sorry, it’s not good. With tea, it doesn’t matter if the tea is bad because you can just steep it longer or steep it shorter if you want a different strength.)
However, fun fact, I’m a college student! So, I feel tired always, and unfortunately, I still have to do things even if I just want to sleep and relax. And what allows us to do that, dear reader? Coffee. If tea could provide even a quarter of the awake feeling I get when I drink coffee, I would drink tea to wake me in the morning. (Also, adding sugar to tea? Adds nothing to the awake feeling).
So call me a white girl, dear reader, because in this sense I am. You will rarely see me holding a coffee cup, but if you do, know it isn’t coffee. It’s a latte or a mocha or a frappuccino. (The only things that coffee can create that actually make you want to drink more and not just feel like you have an obligation to do so because you have x, y, and z that have to be done before whenever.)
Coffee, you disgusting little thing, I hate you for the way taste, but I love you for your caffeine.
What are your opinions on coffee dear readers? Do you have a complicated relationship with it like I do? Comment down below!