As a freshman for the very first time in our lives, we are filled with joy, hope, and a purpose to find how we are going to fit in this world. As human beings, it is within our nature to aspire to build relationships with others. But the thing is, how do you know if someone is just an acquaintance or possibly your new partner in crime? Getting caught up in the excitement of meeting new people in a chaotic environment like college can misconstrue your perceptions. However, even with all the craziness within the first month, you can detect genuine friendships with these ideas in mind:
Your roommate may not be your best friend, but that’s okay!!
Growing up in the social media generation, we are given this idea that your college roommate will be your new best friend, even when that isn’t the situation for many people. Going from living in your own room for eighteen years to moving in with another person will only naturally bring up differences, but knowing that your roommate doesn’t necessarily need to your best friend will help with that awkward transition. The main thing to keep in mind is to always respect each other’s values and personalities and acknowledge that people don’t always meld well together.
Find people with your values…
Without a doubt, college is scary when you are a freshman, but in order to get a proper college experience, you need to take risks so that you can live your most authentic life. The best way to create genuine friendships is simply to get out of your comfort zones. You can do this in many ways whether it be going to the events that your residence halls throw, introducing yourself to your neighbors, or even joining clubs and organizations. By doing so, you will be able to meet people and see which people share similar interests and personalities.
Trust your instincts…
The most important thing about detecting genuine friendships in college is trusting yourself. At this point in your life, you are fully aware of the person you are and the person you would like to become. Trust yourself and your intuitions because they are the core of what makes you unique. You are old and wise enough to know what you look for in relationships with other people and being able to suss out whether someone is going to fit with your ideals. Have faith in yourself and in the relationships you have made in the last eighteen years.
Branch out
Within the first couple of weeks, you can be feeling overwhelmed with the social aspect of college, nothing to fret because everyone feels that way at one point or another. The thing is you may meet people within the first couple of days of college and feel you need to solely hang with those people since that was what you did the first couple of weeks. No need to feel locked in with a certain group of people, you can ALWAYS branch out!! Although those people can help with the awkward transition of finding who you want to spend your weekends with or who to sit with at lunch and dinner, they do not have to be your forever friends. Being able to acknowledge that some people don’t meld as well as others is an important skill to obtain while in college. Unlike the feelings of high school, you can branch out and meet other people without feeling the need to hang out with a certain set of people every day. These four years are going to be the only years that you will be an undergrad in college and it is up to you to make the most of them. This means branching out and finding people that not only make you happy to hang out with but encourage you in whatever you would like to do.
Be open, honest, and yourself
Now this one is the major one… it is incredibly crucial that you do not try to conform in order to fit in with other people. As teenagers, it is within our nature to want to feel accepted by a group of our peers; however, what I have come to experience first hand is if you change who you are in order to fit someone else’s perspective, you will not be happy with the outcome. If you find that the friendships that you have in your life are leaving you with the feeling that there is something missing, do not dismiss that because your feelings are valid. In the end, the only real way you will be able to make genuine friendships is if you are 100% yourself and then you will find people who will share those interests and it will be because they want to be friends with you rather than a persona you will have built.
At the end of the day, I can genuinely say that the first month of college is definitely a different experience than the one in high school. Stepping out of my comfort zone was a challenge that I wasn’t sure I could face, but luckily I did and I can honestly say that I have met some amazing people from being open. Genuine friendships are important to being able to thrive in a college environment and if there is anything I could tell people about making friends in the early stages of college is to not compare these friends with the ones you have from your hometowns.Starting anew can come with difficulties including saying goodbye to some solid friendships from high school, but if you compare your friends to the people at college it will create problems. Remember that it will take time but there are definitely people here at LMU that are worth taking a chance. It all starts with a hello.