It was the school playground that taught me the unfairness of the world
I was five, too young to experience the first incident in a road of injustices
I was playing make-believe with my girl friends when he and his friends ran by
They were playing cops and robbers, and that piqued my interest more than a wedding
I wanted to join them, but he said no
“This is a boys’ game,” he said. “Girls can’t play tag”
But I, in my stubborn five-year-old mind, wouldn’t budge
I wanted to play, and I wasn’t going to take no for an answer
Eventually he relented, but very unwillingly
I tagged him, but he wouldn’t follow the rules of the game and go to jail
I played this game as well as him and his friends, but I wasn’t taken seriously
Because I was a girl and according to him, this was not my world
Five years old and I already was told I wasn’t as good as him
That I was lesser than him
Because I was a girl
I was thirteen before my mother allowed me to walk home from school
Or go anywhere alone
She had me carry pepper spray on my person at all times
And told me to walk beside busy traffic where I would be seen
My curfew was any time before the sun began to set, so summer was my favourite time
Because I could be with my friends longer
I thought nothing of it until my younger brother turned eleven
He was already allowed to walk home from school and hang out with his friends
By the time he was fourteen, his curfew was not with the sun’s schedule
But eleven o’clock
When I asked my mother why, her only response was, “Because he’s a boy”
As if that explained everything
I was fifteen when misogyny came in the form of a classmate
He was someone I despised because of how he treated people
Every day, too lazy to bring his lunch to school, he would go up to people and ask for food
He came up to me that day and asked if he could have my lunch
I politely said no
“Why not?”
I replied that I had only brought food for myself
He shrugged. “Well, go make me a sandwich”
“Why should I? Go do it yourself”
He repeated himself: “Go to the kitchen and make me a sandwich”
I refused
He laughed and said to me, “Women belong in the kitchen. Now go make me a sandwich”
I stared at him, speechless; I wanted to tell a teacher, but without proof, how could I?
The sounds of his laughter trailed behind me as I walked away
I was seventeen when I first got catcalled
We were waiting for the train to come
When he looked at me up and down, his eyes fixated on my body
“Hey, pretty lady,” he said
I was terrified at what he was going to do
But I gave him a glare and walked further down the platform
Distancing myself from him, hoping he would not follow
It was late and the platform was deserted, save for a few people
I could only pray that if he ever came close, they would help me
I was twenty when I began working late nights and would go home after the sun had gone
I would constantly be on my guard and looking over my shoulder
Afraid the shadows around me would give me nightmares
And that the shadows hid even worse nightmares
My keys held tightly in my fist and my heart pounding
It didn’t help that the sidewalk was barely illuminated by the streetlight
Every step closer to home felt like a personal victory
One step closer to safety
When I asked my boyfriend to walk me home because it was getting late
He gave me a strange look and asked why
And when I told him it was because I feel unsafe walking home at night
Accompanied by only shadows
He didn’t understand
Because he’d never feared in a way I’d feared
Because he wasn’t a girl
I was twenty-two when my best friend was sexually assaulted by a mutual friend
My best friend alerted the police and took this case to court
She gave compelling evidence, never told a lie, and told the court what had happened
I was proud of her for standing up to her assaulter
My best friend was a student studying English Literature
Her attacker was a student studying Engineering
She worked at Trader Joe’s part-time to pay her tuition
He received multiple basketball scholarships and played on the college basketball team
The judge sided with my best friend’s assaulter
“How do I know you didn’t lead him on?” he asked
“You were at a party; you were drunk. Maybe you gave consent and forgot”
“Maybe you wanted it but you just changed your mind and are blaming him”
“What were you wearing? You should have covered up”
No, she said, I remember what I wanted and it wasn’t this
But her words fell to deaf ears as the judge pronounced him not guilty and cleared of all charges
Letting him go scot-free, because “jail time could hurt such a brilliant mind”
He lived while she paid the consequences for his actions
I was twenty-four when I started my first full-time job
I had heard so many horror stories about the treatment of women in the workforce
Many of these had occurred to people I knew, people who were truthful
It scared me, my first thought every day being, “Is this the day?
“Is this the day someone assaults me and gets away with it?”
Every day it wasn’t, but I left my office wondering if it would be tomorrow
I had worked with my company for four years and had gotten a raise
My coworkers and boss frequently praised me for my work ethic and punctuality
They promised me a promotion next year
I got it, just like they promised
I thought to myself, “This office is very fair; could the stories be false?”
But as it turns out, I later discovered, a male co-worker who had started later than me
Who was less than competent
Who was frequently late and constantly needed someone else to clean up his mistakes
He was paid more than me
Even though I already had a raise and a promotion
I was shocked, but not surprised
For this was the world I’d grown up in
And it hadn’t changed from twenty-four years ago
I should’ve done something when I was younger
But I was too fearful of not being taken seriously
That “This is just the way things are; deal with it”
It wasn’t fair that I had to deal with your sexism
That the world has grown used to it
It wasn’t fair that we had to fight for something that should’ve existed in the first place
But it’s not too late to change the world
And slowly and surely, we are beginning to fight back
Beginning to reclaim the place that was rightfully ours
Before you unceremoniously threw us into the dust, leaving us behind so we could not catch up
She is five years old and she is the best tagger on the team because she’s faster than everyone
Everyone runs away from her, pretending to be terrified
They’re all screaming with happiness as the fastest runner comes upon them and tags them all
And they all go to jail because those are the rules and who cares if she’s a girl?
She is thirteen when she is allowed to walk home or go anywhere alone
Her brother is given the same privilege when he turns thirteen
And they walk home together as the sun sets behind them
Because they are kids and their mother worries for both of them just the same
She is fifteen when a classmate voices his agreement to a sexist comment
Spoken by a once-notable politician, left behind when society moved forward
She doesn’t walk away; she goes to the teacher and informs him of what her classmate said
He is suspended, because those words are not tolerated in school, in society, anywhere
She is seventeen and waits on the platform for the train to come
A middle-aged man stands beside her, waiting for the same train
And they wait for the train in silence
Because they’re just waiting for the train to come and nothing more
She is twenty and her shift sometimes ends at 10pm and she gets home at 11
The walk home is short, but she feels safe
She doesn’t need to grasp her keys tightly in her hand, doesn’t need to keep looking back
She looks forward to getting home but the shadows do not leer behind her like wolves
She is twenty-two when her best friend is sexually assaulted by a mutual friend
Her best friend, through her pain and hurt, bravely stands up to him and tells her story
The court finds him guilty and he is sentenced to jail
Because in this world, assaulters do not walk free and victims are not blamed
She is twenty-four and she is working in her dream job
She gets acknowledged for her work and praised for her work ethic
She receives a promotion and a raise because she deserves it and people value her talents
And her paycheque – and her paycheque alone – reflects that
She lives in a better world because her mother changed it to be
A better, fairer, more equal world for her children
And children everywhere
This doesn’t have to be a fantasy
This can be our tomorrow
And we can change it
Because we are not who the world says we are
You cannot underestimate us
We are capable of more than you believe
More than you give us credit for
Because we are girls