Long distance friendships are just as hard to maintain as long distance relationships. My best friend since the eighth grade decided she wanted to pursue higher education at Duke University, while I stayed in Texas to get my degree. The journey to figuring out this new dynamic was and still is a work in progress.
It has been a long three years of us doing our long distance friendship, but I think we’ve got down to a science. It hasn’t been easy, but here’s what I learned:
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Communication is key! Yes, that is the most obvious component, but I can’t stress that enough. We don’t see each other face to face every day like used to, so it is imperative that we communicate with each other in some form at least once a week. My best friend and I like to send each other the occasional funny tweet or a quick Snapchat. We are not in constant communication because that would honestly be impossible, but we try to communicate in one way or another. Social media has been a big part of how we communicate frequently.
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Don’t be upset if they don’t have time for you! My best friend and I are both full time students with jobs; we’re both a part of one or more organizations. We’re busy. It would be unfair for me to get upset with her for rejecting my call or vice versa. Getting comfortable with the fact that we can’t just drop everything for each other was a hard pill to swallow.
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Scheduling out the times you can talk with them is very important! Scheduling really goes hand in hand with the communication aspect. Exchanging work and school schedules and figuring what works best for the both of us was by far one the most helpful things we did. I knew when she was in school or at work, so I knew when to not bother her.
Ultimately, maintaining long distance friendships takes effort and work. The number one lesson that I took away from being long distance friends was that proximity doesn’t define a friendship. The dynamic really shifted since we were no longer five minutes away from each other, but it didn’t change. My BFF and I shared a love and a bond that could travel wherever either of us went. The big take-away was that I knew she was my real friend because even though we were over 1,000 miles away from each other and in different time zones, we still made time for each other. Our friendship flourished regardless of the distance.