Being in love is a beautiful thing, but being crazy in love can be one of the most terrifying possibilities of being in a relationship. You never truly know what goes on in people’s heads, and hopefully, this article will help you become more aware of these very real, yet frightening conditions anyone can be suffering from while in a relationship. From the obsessive disorder portrayed in the Netflix series “You” to a real-life narcissist, nobody is safe.
1. Obsessive ‘Love’ Disorder
Think back to when you and your partner started dating. Remember being in that can’t-get-enough-of-each-other phase and loving each and every single thing about your significant other? Now imagine never losing that feeling and that mindset, as if every day felt like the first day you said “I love you” to them. That’s a small explanation as to what being obsessively in love is like and that’s usually how it leads to stalking, invasion of privacy and a need to always have all of your partner’s undivided attention.
This disorder is portrayed in the Netflix original series “You” as we see that Joe Goldberg simply cannot help but to constantly focus all his attention on Guinevere Beck and her “wellbeing.” Throughout the show, it becomes apparent that although he does love her, but when she finds that mystery box (spoiler alert!) it’s a huge slap in the face how psychotic he really is. Obsessive love isn’t about love at all, it’s about infatuation—and infatuation can become a very dangerous thing.
Attachment Disorder
This disorder is something that can begin as early as childhood, possibly from a lack of support, neglect and/or abuse from some type of parental figure in one’s life. This can cause grave abandonment issues which leads to two extremes: living in a constant state of worry trying to please your partner or never even allowing yourself to love (let alone date)!
An example of this comes from one of my favorite movies “Good Will Hunting,” as it describes Will’s problems practically word for word. Will fell on the side of why bother loving someone if they could possibly leave, but all it took was for Robin Williams’ character, Sean, to show him everyone deserves to love and be loved. This allowed Will to blossom into the person he always wanted to be deep down and gave him the courage to go see about a girl (IYKYK).
“You feel like you’re alone, Will? You have a soulmate? Somebody who challenges you. I’m talking about someone who opens up things for you—touches your soul. You can’t give back to them, you know. You’ll never have that kind of relationship in a world where you’re always afraid to take the first step because all you see is every negative thing ten miles down the road. You can do anything you want, you are bound by nothing…”
A Real Life Relationship Narcissist
I decided to save the worst for last: a relationship narcissist. Why, you ask? Mainly because this is probably the least recognizable disorder, especially if you find yourself in love with them, yet it can be the most toxic.
One prime example of this would be the Joker and Harley Quinn, as the Joker slowly dragged Harley to the dark side. Before you know it, she becomes completely unrecognizable. To top it off, the majority of their problems stem from him, yet he keeps her through manipulation and making her fall in love with a fake version of himself.
This further shows that a relationship narcissist has a strong urge to break the rules, have little to no respect for others and will use any source of negative emotions to control their significant other. The world will always revolve around them and they will constantly cover up who they really are and become obsessed with an idealized version of themselves. If you find yourself dating one, I have two words for you: get out (and never look back). No matter how good it may be, a narcissist is poison.
Love Should Never Be Crazy
After reading this all, you may be thinking “Wow, is my significant other crazy?” or “Should I even bother dating someone?” To answer both of these questions, yes, crazy people exist, but so does someone who is going to be absolutely perfect for you. I hope you now realize that a healthy relationship is crucial not only for your relationship but for your mental health. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect, kindness and so much more. So don’t settle, don’t allow someone to treat you badly and never stop searching for your forever Valentine (oh, and try not to get too crazy in love).