We all know that the dating scene is a difficult one, especially in college! If I’m being real here, dating in college is a lot like having an unpaid internship.
More often than not you find yourself liking a nice guy whos funny, cute, and smart too. But he doesn’t do much! Here are some of the reasons why us girls should be the first to make a move and some of the consequences that come with doing so:
Pros:
It’s Empowering
It is an attractive quality in anyone to see that they know what they want and go ahead and go for it. Making the first move can make you feel empower and give you a little bit of an ego massage. Yes girl! You did that. You came and you conquered in your own way. You didn’t sit around and wait for him to notice that you were interested in him. The truth is some people don’t notice and if you don’t take action things were never going to move in any direction.
This is a skill everyone needs to exercise. Not just asking someone out, but stepping out of our comfort zones in general. It makes the actual act of making the move less scary. Any skill that is practiced is strengthened (making it easier to do it a second time around).
No Wasted Time
The shoulda coulda woulda life isn’t a fun one! You live questioning things and always wondering how things would be now if you had just said or done something. The truth is wasting your time sucks. I don’t know anyone who likes to wonder and keep their personality hidden. It’s better to know if your personalities will match sooner than later.
You Won’t Know Until You Ask
Who knows maybe they like you too? Maybe it’s because they’re shy? Let’s be real, guys have feelings too. The only way you’ll know with people like this is by directly asking them. Being assertive in these situations can only bring you clarity! If you don’t ask, them you’ll forever question whether it something you only noticed or felt.
So Many Missed Opportunities
This is great practice for the post college life. Things don’t always just come to us, we have to go out of our way and get them! If we don’t take action, if we don’t say or do something we’re going to miss loads of opportunities!
Some Guys Have HUGE Egos
When I say some, I mean a lot of guys have huge egos. They’d never be able to stand rejection, especially in front of their buddies. The thing is you could be friendly toward a guy and they may not be able to discern if it’s just “regular friendliness” or “flirting.” Some guys just don’t like to jump to conclusions. By making the first move you just took all the pressure off of him. It leaves the ball in his court, he knows you’re interested in him. If he doesn’t reciprocate, it’s his loss!
Sorry, Not Sorry, But That Boosted My Confidence
To get a positive response after making the move is a total confidence booster! I mean it’s alleviating because all of the thinking and wondering is a thing of the past. The truth is you’ll feel like a total boss!
Cons:
He Isn’t the Kind Of Guy You Thought He Was
Just like the Ariana Grande song, he was better “In My Head.” Yes, this is disappointing. You don’t necessarily have to ghost him completely, but you can let him know it isn’t going to work out politely.
He Only Wants to “Netflix and Chill”
This is especially common in college because most people don’t want to get into serious relationships. That’s okay! Making sure that you stand on the same ground is important. Be sure that this guy doesn’t just treat you like a hookup if you want more than just that.
Rejection
I know that this hurts! But it’s a big step, and you should give yourself some credit. There is nothing wrong with getting rejected, because you aren’t meant to be everyone’s “cup of tea.”
Siena may be a small campus and I’m sure that the green to your gold is out there somewhere!