In a very intimate setting, we discussed the things we carry as young adults. We tackled romantic relationships as well as platonic and familial traumas. How do we as 20 somethings make the conscious decision to carry only the necessities with us from day to day?
What is My Definition of Baggage?
Baggage is the emotional turmoil and lessons learned through life’s tribulations. The things we carry throughout our lives. Baggage could be both positive and negative. Whether it’s positive traits we picked up throughout the years, or learned behaviors that we attempt to rid ourselves of. We are also born with baggage. We’re born into families with our own, small dramas that, sometimes, we can’t seem to let go of. Some people are followed with years of regret or guilt.
In college, it is quite common to deal with a few recurring scenarios that reveal the baggage the people around us carry. A few of those bags we commonly see revealed include trust issues and issues with commitment. These recurring scenarios reveal themselves sometimes through forms of anger, negative attributes or false humor.
As young adults, it is important to decide what baggage we are willing to deal with. It is also important to note that we are not responsible for carrying anyone else’s issues. Sometimes, people have to carry their own baggage alone. We also need to recognize negative behavior for what it is, whether it is said jokingly or seriously. People will reveal their true character and it is our choice to believe them.
What Do We Do About It?
Personifying ones baggage allows us to look at it from a different perspective. We see other people and the negative attributes they have and we look down on them. Instead of doing that, we could positively correct them (when it is appropriate) and allow them to correct their behavior on their own. Whether they choose to make those changes is up to them. What’s up to us is if we decide to move forward in our relationships with them. We’re talking about family, too.
I know it’s hard to imagine riding ourselves of family, but sometimes they’re that baggage weighing us down. Boundaries (not walls) might be necessary. Saying “Hey, I don’t like this,” or “Please don’t talk to me about that,” could solve so much in those relationships. It’s all about the conversation(s) being had. They might not understand those boundaries but they need to respect them.
Keeping that other persons feelings in mind at all times is also necessary. It’s time to reinforce standards in all of our relationships. While expecting only the best from the people around us, we need to take accountability of the things we carry as well.