Happiness is found in solitude. Humans by nature are social creatures— we thrive off of socializing and creating relationships with others, but solitude is where we create a relationship with ourselves. Funny enough, taking time for ourselves is often viewed as “selfish” or “unproductive,” but it’s actually the complete opposite!
If you cannot be happy in your own company, you cannot fully be happy around others. I cannot express enough how important it is to gain a relationship with yourself first. It’s OK to be selfish and take time to be with yourself. Solitude can be uncomfortable for many because we’ve been taught that we should constantly be around others and be there for others, but when you really think about it, if you can’t show up for yourself, it’s almost impossible to show up for others. Spending time by yourself allows the body to catch up with the mind.
In the craziness of our existence and in a world of overstimulation, our minds are constantly thinking ahead and analyzing situations. It’s during the times when we just stop everything and sit with ourselves— whether it be through mediating, yoga, painting, listening to music, working out, or even just being in silence — we allow our mind and body to get back into sync. Thoughts come to us much clearer. Situations also make more sense and most importantly, we become centered and grounded again.
Solitude is one of the best ways to find yourself. Self-discovery is an ongoing process that can be difficult and frustrating at times, but it is when you are in your own company, you learn about yourself. You fully come home to yourself. When alone, ask yourself questions and really feel for the answer. Who are you? What do you like about yourself? What are your passions? What do you define yourself as? Are you comfortable being by yourself? Just sit with yourself, ask yourself these questions and see what happens.
One of my favorite quotes is “In solitude the mind gains strength and learns upon itself.” Really think about this for a second. At the end of the day, you are the only permanent person that will be in your life forever. You are stuck with yourself for the rest of your life, so you might as well be comfortable with that and really learn about yourself and grow to love your own company! Work towards falling in love with solitude and don’t be afraid to come home to yourself every so often.
A strong relationship with yourself allows you to truly cultivate and attract the most magical relationships with others. If you’re stuck on a situation or have been having major anxiety about making a decision about something, truly take time to be by yourself, sit with yourself, think about the situation without any distractions and wait for the answer to come to you— it will. You will notice your relationships with others will improve, simply because the relationship with yourself improved. Do something you love by yourself. Just be with yourself and only yourself. Become your best friend. Indulge in solitude. Find peace in the silence and work towards being OK in your own company. So much good will come from this simple practice, I promise you that.