The year 2019 has been quite the ride so far. I have undergone a lot of changes in my life including breaking up with my boyfriend of three years, losing a lot of friends, losing my dog, dealing with many fuck boys, and getting a new puppy of my own. If I am going to be honest, this year has been far from easy and I have cried a lot, but I have also began to truly find myself. That is big for me to admit as I am a very insecure, shy person, and am just now truly finding my worth in life and figuring out what my path in life is. With a good support group and a strong head on my shoulder, I have began to slowly but surely find the person who I am meant to be. Growing up is not easy, especially for a young girl, so doing simple things to see your worth really does a lot, just in small strides. Over time I have been learning things to help me feel like a bad bitch and I want to share, so we all can feel the same.
First things first, surround yourself with good people. I know it sounds so simple but have you ever taken the time to sit back and truly think about the people in your life and their intentions? I personally see the good in all, throw the bad to the side, and put others before myself, it is a blessing and a curse I know. I began to compare relationships with toxic people I had in my past and learned what I want out of relationships now with the people I meet and what to stray away from. It is hard to just cut someone out of your life, even when you know they are not by your side with right intentions, but it is important to remember that every person enters your life for a reason, and the bad people that come are there for you to learn from and realize your worth. Some people are here for the whole book of you life, while others are just present for a chapter. A hard realization to admit to, but one that is truly empowering when realizing.
Next, stemming off of surround yourself with good people, be honest with the issues you have with yourself. Everyone has insecurities about themself, and if someone says they don’t, they’re lying. I used to be an extremely self conscious person, I still am just not as bad as before. I would not even want to leave my room because I thought everyone was looking at me and judging my every move. Just recently, I have admitted to my insecurities, I have realized that the way I think so poorly of myself is not okay, and whoever is judging me and not helping to bring me up, I need to get out of my life. Some of my insecurities include my appearance, the way I present myself to others, and the way I speak so lowly of myself. I admit all that to you all with hesitation but I am hoping that someone reading this will see they are not alone and find empowerment. As I admit to all those insecurities I am now working towards fixing them by doing things like eating healthy, working out, being unapologetically myself to the people that come into my life, and working hard everyday to be the best version of me.
I have just recently began a new nightly routine. Before bed I now think about three things I was grateful for in the day. We always dwell on the bad things so much, that we sometimes overlook the good things that happen in each day, even if they are small. Going to bed thinking of the good things that happened to me helps me wake up with a smile on my face, and has made me a much more grateful person. Negativity would cloud my brain everyday, I would be in such a bad cycle of these unhealthy habits and it affected not only me, but the people around me as well. Doing daily gratitudes is something so small, but the cumulative effect is huge.
“The secret to having it all is knowing you already do”
The last thing I have been doing that has been definitely making me feel like a badass chick is getting dolled up. If you are ever feeling bad about yourself I recommend just putting on your favorite outfit, do your hair, throw on some makeup if that’s your thing and just take some pictures. The other day I was sitting in the library with my friends and I was not feeling the best about myself. Out of nowhere I said aloud, I’m going to go do a naked photo shoot. Everyone began to laugh and thought I was kidding. Little did they know, several hours later I was posting a picture on instagram of me in my Calvin’s. Posting it for myself, no one else.
After posting the picture of myself, half naked, something that I would never think to do even a couple months ago, I truly realized how much I have grown in the past couple months and that is why I wanted to write this article.
I bet there are so many people out there, feeling just like me, and I want you to know that you are worthy, loved, are doing everything right in life, and I hope reading this has made you realize it even a little, if you have not already.
“The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me” -Ayn Rand