Amber Tamblyn, famously known as Tibby from the iconic 2005 flick, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, has imparted her knowledge in so many spheres, be it through her writing, acting, directing, or leading. The Any Man author and contributor for the New York Times is speaking at Her Conference on June 22 and leading up to it she shared her crucial advice for young college women with Her Campus. Read on for Amber’s thoughts on understanding some of the toughest parts of becoming an authentic and contributing adult.
1. Build your glorious self.
“Our twenties are some of the most difficult times for young women, but it is also a time of self-discovery and exploration, which we must honor and try to enjoy. Everything you are learning, experiencing, absorbing, and living will lead you to the person you want to be. So think of these years and the work you are doing as part of the building of that glorious person you will become. And know that it’s okay to feel lost and concerned or stuck in a state of in-between right now. That’s all part of the process and things will not always stay that way, I promise.”
2. To be an ally is stepping into the world of being a student.
“To be an ally is to listen more than you talk. It’s to reach far outside of what’s comfortable or familiar to you, and engage in conversations and behavior that supports the work and experiences of others, not that tries to overshadow theirs with yours. To be an ally is to step out of the role of teacher, and into the world of being a student.”
3. Take leaps and leave your comfort zone when you write.
“Do things that scare you as much as possible, in your writing and your artistic work. Let your frustration, anger, and intuition guide your stories. Do not try to write like the writers you love, but try to love like the writers you have read; allow yourself to feel in the way they did in order to write what they did.”
4. Feeling anxious and exhausted is normal. Take care of yourself in order to find your voice.
“Know that I feel the same way! Most women and marginalized voices feel that way. I want to stress that it is okay to feel this way. You do not have to be everything, all at once, all the time, forever. Please take steps to take care of your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual well being, however that is possible for you. We cannot do the creative work we want to do– we MUST do– if we don’t pay attention to these other parts of ourselves.”
5. Find your inspiration in unexpected places.
“I meditate, I drink wine with friends, I play with my kid, I read a good book, I check out of social media often. Find a routine for yourself that allows you to escape from this world for a small amount of time. In that escape is where imagination lies. It is how we seed what must grow.”
6. We should set women free and realize we already are empowered.
“To empower implies we are not already deeply and dangerously powerful—that we are not already the arbiters of our own sorcery. We are. And so instead of saying we should empower more women, I think I’d like to leave you here by saying: we should set women free.”