Going away to school is always a fun experience. It’s the perfect time to experience yourself in a new light, meet other people, and multiply your opportunities 10-fold. What is not so fun, is feeling like you have to tell your boo goodbye forever. Whether this is your first rodeo away from him, or you’re still trying to figure it out, here’s some things to always keep in mind.
1. Communicate clearly and efficiently what you want out of the relationship, whether you all are able to be around each other or not.
The first step to a thriving relationship is communication. Long distance REQUIRES communication, sometimes more communication than your relationship may be used to. However, be intentional about your approach. Speak what you need and want from your partner before you become jaded by your distance. Be sure that they listen to understand everything that you will need to keep your relationship on track, and ALWAYS hear them out too. Allow them the opportunity to express what they need from you too. Speaking your needs, wants, and goals for your relationship out-loud will eliminate assumption and confusion when you’re away from each other.
2. Be willing to change the routines established before.
Schedules can become hectic, especially with extracurricular activities. Don’t be selfish in your need to talk to your partner. Get to know their schedule and their down time and allow them to do the same with yours. Let your schedules and your free-time become a topic of conversation. If need be, when you get to know their schedules make a routine out of talking to them so that you don’t feel unattended to.
3. Don’t compare your relationship to others.
This seems like a weird idea to include, but distance can make you become argumentative, and prone to finding things to compare your relationship to. Social media sites are oversaturated with plenty of the “perfect relationships” and not being with your partner can cause you to feel a lack. Don’t compare your relationship to the ‘me and somebody son’ posts all the time. Those posts feature beautiful couples that have their very own personal problems. Establish confidence in the relationship that you’ve built this far and remember that you all will be back together soon.
4. Choose your partner everyday.
Relationships are not always butterflies and rainbows, and distance adds an extra hurdle to overcome. Remember to make still prioritize your relationship. There will be hard days when love won’t be enough. Rely on your strength and loyalty to get through the hard times. Actively be open to change and bettering yourself with your partner, even from far away. Nurture this relationship like you would do if you were at home. Don’t let your distance cause you to expect the worse.
5. If you become overwhelmed, don’t wait to communicate.
Distance is not for everybody. You have to be willing to participate. Do not feel bad if you become overwhelmed with the idea of distance and compromise. Make it clear to your partner what isn’t working for you and offer options for working toward a change if that is the choice made together. It’s easy to stress yourself and cause strain on the relationship, so eliminating the problems when they arise will take the pressure off.
6. Trust.
Distance requires trust on both parts. The trust that people often forget is the trust in your relationship working. Distance sometimes makes people feel that the end is nearing, however, trust that what you built can withstand the test of time. On the other side of the coin, never forget to trust until proven otherwise. Relationships that are meant to be will be. If it is important to you, make your communication open enough for raw discussion. Trust that when you establish your needs, wants, and expectations that your partner will have enough respect for you to consider them (vice versa). Never assume; assumption is the lowest form of knowledge.
Trouble don’t last always ladies! If you take the time to follow these few pieces of advice I guarantee it’ll take the scary burden off of continuing your long distance relationship. Her Campus has faith in you, so have faith in your happy home!