So, you’re about to head off to college. You’ve picked out the cutest blankets and pillows for your bed, bought a ton of matching school supplies that you’ll probably never use, and packed up all your favorite clothes. But there’s one very important thing you can’t pack in your suitcase: your significant other. You’re probably sick of people asking you whether you’re going to stay together, but remember that you have to make the choice that feels right for you. Here’s what I wish I’d known before my relationship became long-distance.
- You’re not the only one who is starting college with an S.O.
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Within my first month at BU, I’ve met at least a dozen other girls who have mentioned a long-distance boyfriend in a conversation I’ve had with them. I grew up hearing the advice “don’t go to college with a boyfriend,” both in the media and from friends and family, but many people don’t actually listen to that. You’re not going through this new situation alone.
- You’re going to miss them, but it helps not to tell them that.
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It’s okay to say it occasionally, but I’ve personally found it much easier to text my boyfriend, “I can’t wait to see you!!” instead of, “I miss you.” Putting a positive spin on the same message makes the distance feel a lot smaller.
- FaceTime is your friend.
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It’s not always easy to find times when our schedules match up, but we’re generally both available for a little while before going to sleep, and FaceTiming for even a few minutes can make my entire day. Seeing his face instead of just texting him makes it a lot easier to imagine he’s really here with me.
- You’ll be a little jealous of people dating someone at the same school as you.
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Whenever I’m hanging out on the BU beach, I see at least one couple cuddling on a bench or walking by holding hands. At first, I get disappointed that I can’t be with my boyfriend at that moment, but then I just use it as an excuse to text him, “I can’t wait to see you!!” again!
- It’s okay to prioritize making new friends.
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This one is hard because you’re going to want to tell your S.O. everything that’s going on in your new college life, but it’s important to put down the phone sometimes and really engage with the new people you’re meeting. You want your S.O. to be doing the same thing at their college (or high school, or job, or whatever they’re doing that isn’t being at college with you), so they’ll understand if you tell them that you can’t talk at that moment. I promise, there will be time for you to tell them about all the fun you’re having with your new friends another day.
- If you love them, it’s worth it.
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This one is pretty self-explanatory. Only you can know if continuing your relationship in college is right for you. Long-distance does require hard work, but real love is worth fighting for.
There are probably going to be a lot of people who try to tell you why long-distance won’t work out, but I believe it’s always worth it to try. If the love is real, distance means nothing. And as someone currently in a long-distance relationship, I can tell you firsthand: it’s worth it.
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