Maybe this is you. Maybe you’ve always enjoyed your alone time, or had the one or two drifter friendships every year in school that fade with the summer sun. Maybe you’ve always been a little jealous of those girls with huge groups of friends, always laughing and hanging out, posting pictures to make sure you know they’re still attached at the hip. Maybe you haven’t ever been able to relate to that struggle of having ‘too many’ friends, or not being able to fit your whole gang in one car or one booth at the restaurant. This one’s for you.
You may have heard the saying “less is more”, and this is one area that it definitely applies. Friendships. It’s a touchy, every changing, sometimes happy and sometimes sad, topic. Over the years, and especially as you grow older, you find that you may be continuously drawn to the same few people even as other things in your lives evolve. The girl who was always there for you throughout highschool, the one you know would always be standing up for you and shutting down the gossip behind your back. The girls that feel more like family than friends, and even if you haven’t known them for a long time- you just click. Let me tell you that these are the important friendships, and they are worth holding onto and guarding. They don’t come around every day.
You will come to realize that more friends really doesn’t mean more happiness, usually the larger the group the more drama there is, and there are a few stragglers who don’t really mesh well anyways. When you stop wasting your energy trying to please or fix or mend friends and relationships that aren’t serving you anymore, you get a huge reality check. What was that friendship actually doing for you? More than likely it was just stressing you out, and as much as you may care about that person, you have every right to put yourself and your peace first and let them go. Gracefully, of course, as you can. You and they will be much better off.
When you find the good ones, you’ll be able to call them up after a few busy months of not speaking and pick up right where you left off. Filling each other in on the new happenings in your lives, reminiscing about good memories, and laughing because you just get each other. Good friends lift you up, you feel BETTER after talking or being with them, not drained or anxious. The criteria are loose, because it’s different for everyone, but when you find them I promise that you’ll know. You’ll be sitting in the kitchen after wine night and realize that they’re your people, maybe it’s just one or maybe it’s four. You compliment each other, and even if it’s a little too deep at our age, you’ll know that they’re going to be your bridesmaids in your wedding, your kids Godmothers, your bridge and bingo companions when you are old and gray.
So please doll, promise me you’ll hold onto them. Even when things get busy, you need these people in your life. It can be hard to pull ourselves away from the business and responsibilities of life, but once you do you’ll be so greatful. So commit to them and hold yourself to your word when you’ll say you’ll spend a few hours catching up every few weeks- it’ll make you feel that much better. If you don’t nurture these precious entanglements of your heart- even with friends, ties can weaken and snap, but you’ll thank yourself years down the road that you put in a little effort and held them close. Life gets hard, and we definitely aren’t meant to take any of it on alone, even us tough girls who want to be Miss Independent. Let your girl gang carry some of the weight and you’ll be a lighter and better woman for it.