Sometimes a hard break up can determine your mood on whether or not you want to start dating again. From experience, a rough break up can bring out some insecurities although this may not be the same for everyone. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone for a while and getting in touch with yourself. After my break up, I felt like I was obligated to get back out in the dating field because I felt like it was what I was supposed to do. I let others influence me on what they thought that I should do instead of sticking to what I wanted for myself. There were times where I felt ashamed for not talking to guys or being sexually active for the fun of it. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I simply was just not in space to do so. Getting back out there is hard and can be complicated for some people.
As a shy and awkward person, it was tough. There were times where I felt like no one besides the person that I was in a relationship with wanted me. I let my insecurities take over and never gave myself room to grow and challenge my character. For a couple of months, I stuck to myself and geared my focus on school and trying to better my life. I blocked out the people who couldn’t understand or respect where I was coming from. I realized that I didn’t need to talk to different people just to fill in a void. I wanted to get back to dating because I wanted to, not to avoid a feeling that I need to heal from. For those struggling with getting back out there after a break-up, you are not alone. It is okay to want to be by yourself for a while, and to get in tune with yourself. Don’t feel obligated to go outside of what your comfortable with for others; do what makes you happy. When the time comes to start up dating and meeting other people you will know and you will be in a better place mentally. I’m a person who values alone time and quietness, I didn’t want to disrupt that space for myself right away. I wanted to be in a place where I was comfortable before allowing people in my bubble.
Let yourself heal from your past relationships; figure out what to do right and also do not let your insecurities determine whether you’re worth dating. Moments like these can make you go on a roller coaster ride with your self-esteem. But this is normal. You’re human and you’re allowed to be human. Dating after a bad break up is awkward for a lot of people; it is important to take time for yourself to figure out what you want out of life and what you know you deserve out of that special someone. Of course, some people handle things a different way which is fine, but I am speaking for my awkward and shy folks. Take the time to know yourself, figure out things even outside of relationship and dating, and know your boundaries; be at peace with yourself first.