For this past week, one thing has been on my mind: the passing of Kobe Bryant, his daughter, and the seven others who perished in a terrible helicopter crash. The day after the crash, I felt empty and kept myself glued to the news for any updates or memories regarding Kobe Bryant. I also made it a point to include the Bryant family in my prayers. While all this is thoughtful, the crazy thing is I don’t follow sports or could even call myself a true Kobe Bryant fan. Yet, my heart hurts when seeing clips of him or photos of the memorials created in his memory.
The only time I recall having these similar feelings was in 2013 with the passing of actor Corey Monteith. Monteith starred on “Glee” as the lovable, goofy quarterback Finn Hudson. As a fan of the show, I adored his character and loved his dim-witted comments about singing and show choir. But, off-screen, I admired his honesty about his journey with adolescent drug addiction and rehabilitation. Hearing that his passing was caused by an overdose broke my heart. I remember that night, I could not sleep and stayed up listening to his covers from “Glee,” feeling like the world was missing a piece of itself. I spent the rest of the week rewatching the first season of “Glee,” which proved to be somewhat painful with his passing. In the months to come, I would tear up at any memorials or dedications for Monteith and both anxiously and painfully awaited “The Quarterback” episode of “Glee,” an episode that is still hard for me to watch. It is passings like Bryant and Monteith that bring fans together in a state of grief, but it also brings critics. The outsiders of these groups wonder or even criticize why fans cry or enter states of mourning for individuals they didn’t even know personally. I, as a fan, also question this idea. Why do we mourn celebrities?
According to author Kathy Gottberg, there are nine reasons why we mourn celebrities and other public figures. The first reason is that we are by nature, sympathetic creatures. Anyone can see the tragedy in Bryant’s helicopter accident, and naturally, we feel for all the family members who lost a loved one. Another reason is that celebrities act as our social connection, meaning they share similarities to us or represent values or characteristics we admire. This is what makes celebrities feel like our friends and family. For me, “Glee” was the show that made me feel a little less alone in the world. It allowed me to accept my quirks when others wouldn’t and, at times, the New Directions (name of the glee club in “Glee”) were some of my only friends. From what I’ve seen on social media, Kobe represented the ultimate family man, a basketball player with a heart of gold, and an individual dedicated to working hard on his craft. Traits that anyone can admire or wish to emulate.
On a more somber note, the passing of pop culture icons reminds us of our own mortality. With each tragic passing, social media is flooded with individuals reminding us to hug our loved ones tighter tonight, to tell them we love them, or even make amends with others. Death is unexpected, and these passings can remind us that life is a gift, and we should make the most of each moment. It can also bring about questions of life and the afterlife. Considering these topics are heavy, we should take the time to reflect on them and bring up the anxiety or questions we have regarding them. Avoiding them could harm us emotionally.
But, the most important thing to remember is that no matter what your feelings are, its okay to feel them. It’s okay to be upset about the passing of a celebrity. If the emotions are there, we should release them instead of bottling them up. We are humans, and it’s okay to feel every emotion possible.
So, wear your old Lakers jersey, go on your fifth binge-watch of “Glee,” or visit fan memorials. Do what you need to do to help you process. But also be there for others, reach out to friends and check if they’re okay. While these times are troubling, the darkness can turn into light when we all come together.