I think watching High School Musical as a kid was the root of all my unrealistic expectations for being a teenager. As a young, spirited girl with high hopes and dreams, I was always compared to Gabriella Montez (mostly by my mom, but it still counts). She starts off as the “freaky math girl” which was more accurately relatable to the later high school me. But then, movie magic strikes and she becomes the most popular girl in school for coming out of her shell to sing on stage with the most popular boy Troy Bolton. And all I can think now is of course. Of course, the quiet and smart girl has to be thrust into the spotlight and paired with a man to be noticed and praised.
Don’t get me wrong, kid me loved the movie, and a part of me still does, but grown up me can’t help but think, “What about the freaky math girl who stays a freaky math girl?”
Among full-size lockers and an aesthetic cafeteria, I expected a lot from high school. I expected to have a solid huge group of friends to be surrounded by both inside and outside of school. I expected to sneak out every weekend on spontaneous adventures. I expected to be swept off my feet in some whirlwind, but also completely naturally forming, romance with a cute boy next door— you get my drift.
Needless to say, I didn’t get any of that. I had maybe a few close friends here and there and maybe a relationship or two, got good grades, definitely didn’t party or drink or smoke. Though I loved it, I was made to feel like my life was so underwhelming. My adventures were going out to the mall to grab food. My parties were board game nights and sleepovers where we’d watch movies about “real” parties. No literal red solo cups in sight! It all lies in the media, really. They paint out teenage life to be the point where you “let loose.” You’re expected to break all the rules, drink to your heart’s (and underdeveloped brain’s) content, fit in to make friends and above all, have the time of your life— the golden years. And if not in high school, then in college!
Fast forward to my college and I’m still… not doing that. Though I have gone to a party now, I realized how much it wasn’t for me. I’ve grown up to now feeling guilty saying “no” to parties and instead staying in to watch Netflix or god forbid, study. Even when I don’t even like parties!
All the songs I’ve listened to, books I’ve read, and shows I’ve watched lead me to believe that I’m missing out on something. I am and have been robbing myself of my peak years, but is that really true? Is any of the Hollywood high school bullshit true for everyone? The main lesson is that nerds are meant to be where the protagonist starts, not where they end. But how unfair is that to the kids who don’t want to have to undergo transformations to change who they are to be happy?
For every portrayal of the “teenage dream,” there is a kid out there who will end up thinking they are living a nightmare; who are left feeling unfulfilled. They will have only dreamt of these unrealistic expectations, and wake up to face the reality of never being able to or just not wanting to live up to them. Because, truth is: maybe they aren’t meant to fit everybody! There are introverts out there and kids with social anxiety and kids who just don’t like partying and people in between. Maybe they can have fun in their own ways; maybe there isn’t one way to be a teenager— revolutionary, I know, but not impossible.