There is nothing easy about being a single girl in college in 2020. Between frat parties and Tinder, your options for meeting eligible partners are a little slim. While we’ve both been on too many terrible dates to count, there were just a few experiences that really took the cake. With Valentine’s Day coming up this week, we figured sharing these terrible dates would be a fun way to celebrate. So, without further ado, here are our top 6 dating horror stories.
- Izzy — Kung Fury and Chill
-
I was “friends” with a guy (and friends is an EXTREMELY generous term) who did me a favor one time, and he asked me if we could hang out. I didn’t have feelings for this guy at all, and he honestly made me really uncomfortable. I, being dumb, reluctantly agreed, so I let him come watch a movie at my dorm. He said we were going to watch his favorite short film, “Kung Fury”.
First off, he was very judgemental of my decorations. Various posters from protests I’ve been to hang above my desk, such as March For Our Lives, Everytown for Gun Safety, Demand Justice, etc. He commented that he’d “never seen someone be so proud of protesting like that before.” I also have a wall where I’ve hung all of my postcards from Washington, D.C. When he asked what they were from, I was excited to tell him how much I love the city, but he interrupted and said, “Oh, D.C is kinda ugly. Not my favorite place.” Things weren’t off to a great start.
The movie began and he sat next to me on my bed. He looked extremely uncomfortable…but that didn’t stop him from trying to lay his head on my shoulder. He would also get pissed and pause the movie if I looked at my phone for even a second, which I know is rude, but I was just checking the time. A few of my friends poked their heads in to say hi, and he complained that I had so many people over. I didn’t even let them in!
Plus, the “movie” was completely ridiculous. I thought it was supposed to be so bad it’s funny, but he took it so seriously while I was laughing. Once the movie was done, I expected the date to be over. However, he insisted on staying for a while longer. I explained to him that I had homework to do and a meeting to go to (which were both true). Then he said, “Aw c’mon, you can’t make my first date a little more eventful?”
I had no idea this was his first date ever, and I felt bad that it was so horrible. Still, I refused to let myself get guilt-tripped any longer, so I told him that he had to go. As I signed him out, he glanced at my phone’s lock screen and scoffed. I asked him what was wrong and he said he knew why I was cutting the date short. I was confused, and then he revealed that it was my lock screen that gave it away. At the time, my lock screen was a photo of me with one of my best friends. I got kind of pissed off at that point. I explained that I love the guy in the picture to death, but he is gay and we have no interest in dating each other. He didn’t even apologize for accusing me, he just walked out of the building and said, “See ya later.” Long story short, he did not see me later.
- Bella — Forty-Two
-
It started as a typical modern-day romance. One day, I Snapchatted a boy I couldn’t remember meeting, but I knew him from somewhere. He called me beautiful and told me he liked talking to me. In retrospect, I think he was just telling me what I wanted to hear. But I liked the attention, as anyone would, so we kept talking. After about a week of texting and FaceTiming, he asked to hang out. For some reason, as soon as he said that I got a terrible feeling. Usually, I don’t trust my intuition. I’ve been wrong about a lot of things, to put it lightly. But I couldn’t shake this feeling. I did what any college student would do and made up an excuse to get out of it.
After that, I intended to stop talking to him. I left his texts on open, I told him I wasn’t interested in pursuing anything — I thought I fixed the problem. But this boy had a few screws loose. As soon as I told him I didn’t want to hang out, he made it his mission to see me. He told me that he had taken a “mystery substance” at a party and he needed to lie down somewhere. Now, I like to consider myself a good person. I didn’t like the thought of him, messed up, wandering around the streets of Downtown Charleston on a Friday night, so I told him he could come over and lie down on the couch until he felt better.
He got to my building in less than five minutes. As soon as I saw him, it was clear that he was not on any kind of “mystery substance.” He embraced me and said “Hey! I’m so happy we’re finally hanging out.” When I heard that, my blood began to boil. I had been trying very hard to let him down easy, but he was making it so difficult to be nice.
“I thought you took something,” I asked him. I was angry, and I think he picked up on it. He held his hands up like he was surrendering and said, “Well, I didn’t know what else to say to make you come see me.”
When I tell you I wanted to scream, I wasn’t kidding. As if being taken advantage of wasn’t bad enough, he said, “and I wouldn’t have to lie if you would just give me a chance.”
I kicked him out, and he did not take that well. The next day, he FaceTimed me every 15 minutes and called me 42 times. And texted me twice that. I blocked his number, but that didn’t stop him. He DM’ed me on Instagram and somehow found me on Pinterest.
I like to think that if I had just trusted my intuition and blocked him from the start, I wouldn’t have had to deal with all of this. But crazy runs deep, so I’m sure he would’ve found a different way to make my life difficult.
- Izzy — …Diarrhea?
-
Last year, I downloaded Tinder after my ex and I broke up. I was more curious than anything else, and eventually, I matched with this super sweet guy who didn’t live too far from me. His pick-up line complimented me and incorporated one of my favorite songs, so I was interested for sure. We traded Snapchats and talked for a little while, and eventually, he asked me to get coffee with him.
As many date stories go, this one needs some background information. One big issue between me and my ex was that he refused to get his license and wouldn’t pay for my gas. So, when talking to this new guy, it was nice to not worry about being the only one with transportation. I woke up early that morning to do my makeup and have everything I needed to go to rehearsal afterward. As I put the finishing touches on my eyeshadow, the dude texted me and said that he didn’t have a ride to Starbucks and needed me to pick him up. I was kind of annoyed, considering the past circumstances, but he assured me he was only 5 minutes away from the coffee shop. I agreed to pick him up, not wanting to jump to conclusions.
I hopped in my car and asked him for the address. While waiting for him to respond, I started driving, and when he finally sent me the address it was 25 minutes away. I was pissed, but I had already come too far. I just thought to myself that the chances of a second date were not great.
I got to his house and picked him up. On the way to the coffee shop, he didn’t apologize for making me drive him, and he sh*t-talked my music taste. Already not going well.
He did pay for my coffee when we got there, but the rest of the date just got worse. We did not vibe at all, but he also did something really weird: he whipped with every sentence he made. Like, the dance move. And he did it constantly. And every time he whipped, he would knock the table with his fist, and it was so loud that the barista had to ask him to stop.
We talked for a few minutes longer. The kicker was when he started talking about how one night at Taco Bell he ate so much it messed with his stomach. Then, he said, “the only time I’ve had worse diarrhea than that day was this morning!”
We didn’t have much in common as it turns out, and the date was already going so poorly that I told him I had to get ready for rehearsal. I felt bad about lying, but I did not want to talk about this man’s poop any longer.
On the way back to the car, he asked me if the seats in my car folded back. I said, “no, why?” (they did, but I didn’t want to give him any ideas). Defeated, he replied, “Aw man, maybe we could still try some stuff though?” I laughed out loud; I couldn’t help it. He had JUST gotten done describing how bad his diarrhea was that morning! I told him no, that I had to get going, and drove him back to his house. As he was leaving, he grabbed the back of my head and kissed me. He got out of the car and asked when we’d be hanging out again. I said, “we’ll see about that!” and drove off. He didn’t see me again.
- Bella — The Phone Thief
-
Here’s a life lesson: never, EVER, under any circumstances, leave your phone unattended at a party. I did it, and thankfully I lived to tell the tale.
I met this boy at Starbucks at the beginning of the year. He was really sweet, artsy, cute — I thought I found someone special. We hung out a few times, I met his friends, and I was hopeful that it was going somewhere. To preface, I had been warned about this boy beforehand. A friend of mine told me that he had a history of dropping friends. I thought I could be a little different. That was my first mistake.
He took me to a party at his friend’s house. I was having fun, talking to new people and listening to music. His friends were pretty cool, all involved in some art project or play or something creative. At some point, I lost my date and just decided to keep hanging out. At one point, I left my phone on the counter to use the bathroom.
Not even five minutes later, I came back and my phone was gone. No one had seen it. I checked all of the cabinets, under the rugs, behind the furniture — my phone was M.I.A. I heard something coming from the backyard. Even though I hadn’t been outside all night, I decided to check anyway.
There was the boy I came with, with another girl on his lap, holding my phone out in front of him like he was calling someone.
I was frozen. I had barely been in college for two weeks, and this was a situation I never thought I would be in. I didn’t know what to do. I mean, what do you do in that scenario?
So I went up to him and snatched my phone. Without saying another word to him, I called myself an Uber and went back to my dorm.
On the ride back, I went through everything to try to figure out what he had done with my phone. My messages, calls, Snapchat and Instagram were all untouched. My contacts were the same, and there were no new photos in my camera roll. But then I saw a little notification bubble coming from the one and only Venmo. My heart dropped. I clicked on it and saw that this boy had stolen my phone, gotten with another girl, and Venmoed himself $45 all in one night.
I never spoke to him again after that. And he still owes me $45. - Izzy — And Also Understanding
-
I matched with this guy on Tinder and he seemed pretty nice. I wasn’t super interested, but he was cute, so when he asked for my number I was happy to give it to him. But he turned out to be pretty terrible at texting: he just gave one-word responses or said “wyd.” Anytime there was a lull (which was often) he would just ask to hang out. I’m a pretty busy person, so I had to say no a lot, which, in my experience, usually pisses guys off. He kept telling me I was “too busy” for him, to which I replied, “stop talking to me then.” He did, for about two weeks. After that, he texted me a long-winded message about how sorry he was and that he wanted to have a chance with me if at all possible. He seemed sincere, so I figured I should at least let him have one date.
He said he could come over on a Friday at noon. I’m in the band, and our practice on Fridays starts at 4. I told him this, and he said he could just come over before that and then he’d leave when I needed him to. I explained that he’d have to leave at 3 so I would have time to get ready and walk to the place where I practice. He said that was fine, so I gave him the address and he said he’d be over soon.
I got back to my dorm by 11:30 and spent some time cleaning. I texted my suitemates to give them a heads up that I was having a guy over, so everything was going according to plan. A few hours passed by, and he still hadn’t shown up. Once it was past 2 I texted him and told him not to come over since he would have to leave so soon. He responded immediately (after not texting back for hours) and said that his Uber had JUST gotten there and that I should still let him come over. I told him no since there was no point in it, and I had to start getting ready soon anyways.
In band, we use our phones to look at our music through an app. It saves time and paper, and we just attach our phone to the instrument. Usually, notifications can be easily ignored, but this dude was BLOWING up my phone. He tried to FaceTime me so many times, and every time I declined he would try again. He sent me multiple texts asking me to pick up, so I put my phone on Do Not Disturb and resolved to deal with it after practice.
As I made my way back to my dorm, I checked my phone to see that I had 36 missed calls and 24 texts from him. I didn’t even say anything to him, I just blocked his number. He was obviously a little crazy, not my cup of tea. A few days passed, and I kind of forgot about the situation altogether. Until one day he messaged me on Tinder again. It was a really long text that I won’t quote exactly, but the last line was priceless:
“i don’t really understand why you blocked me honestly but it is what it is tbh U could’ve just been honest with me im straight forward and honest and also understanding.”
I never responded to the message, but it gave me a good laugh just because he said “honest” so many times. Luckily, he never bothered me again after that, but it’s safe to say that the whole incident made it to the Terrible Tinder Hall of Fame.
- Bella — Love Takes Longer Than Four Hours
-
Once, I met a boy while standing in line at Chick-fil-A. He was cute and funny, so when he asked for my Snapchat I gave it to him, and when he asked me out on a date, I said yes. That Saturday, he picked me up in his 2014 Audi. As someone who knows nothing about cars, I was impressed. It was sleek, clean, and it looked like he may have a little bit of money. We drove around, talking and showing each other our favorite songs. He said, “I have Chinese food at my house. Do you want to go there?”
What’s the harm with Chinese, I thought. I agreed. But one thing he neglected to tell me was that not only were his parents and sisters there, so was his brother-in-law’s entire family: three kids, two sets of grandparents, and a random nephew. We walked into his kitchen, where he grabbed his Mom and introduced me as his “girlfriend.” I almost choked. I didn’t want to let it get to me, though, because I really liked him. So I mingled with his family for another three hours. He eventually found me and took me upstairs, where we ate the promised Chinese food and started to talk again.
“So, what’d you think?” He asked me, as if he had in any way prepared me to meet his entire extended family. On the first date.
“They’re all so nice,” I said, trying not to voice my discomfort.
He raised his eyebrows at me. “Well, if you want to be part of my family, you gotta get used to them.”
I thought he was joking. “You’re getting a bit ahead of yourself there,” I joked back. He stood up. He turned away.
He looked at me, and he said: “I’m not. I know when I’m in love.”
It was 4:34. He picked me up at 12:15.
“You’re not in love with me,” I said. He wasn’t listening. He had made up his mind, four hours in. He was in love! I was shocked. And uncomfortable. I had to walk down the stairs, in front of his entire extended family, while he cried behind me so he could drive me home. He cried the entire way back.
These experiences were all pretty horrible, but we can only hope that we don’t have too many awkward dates in our future. May these terrible tales guide you on your quest for love this Valentine’s Day.