Picture this: the date is February 12, 2019. Me, a senior in high school involved in a year-and-a-half-long relationship, bawling my eyes out as my boyfriend tells me I make him miserable and essentially ends our relationship. Now, I definitely did things wrong that led to this fight; but I certainly never saw this coming. I was expecting chocolate-covered strawberries and roses in the next few days; but instead, I found myself with tissues and sad music. I truly thought that this was going to be an absolute low point of my life (wow, I was so dramatic. If you had to deal with me at this time I’m truly sorry). Not only was I getting dumped by someone who I genuinely thought that I was going to be with for a very long time (oh naive high school Sara), but I was also getting dumped during the week of the year where everyone was determined to let the world know how happy and successful their relationships were. I was bracing myself to see the social media posts, the fancy dates and the flower deliveries. I was embarrassed and so sad. I mean, I knew that most high school relationships didn’t last into college, but why was I the only one who couldn’t even make it to prom?
I walked into school the next day on a mission. I marched straight to my locker and flung it open, grabbing the picture of him that was hanging up. I carried that poor picture over to the trash can and shredded it into tiny pieces (not my proudest moment). All hopes of trying to be discrete about the breakup were lost. Word spreads quickly at a small all-girls school; so before long, most people knew. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t what happened. I was expecting pitiful looks and loneliness, but I was so wrong. I have never experienced more love in my life than I did that week.
I was reminded that there were so many incredible people in my life and I didn’t need a boy at all. In fact, I never had. I was showered with so much love and my mind was completely taken off of the situation. I went up to my college counselors’ offices just to take a break, and they sat with me for an hour while I cried. Even though these women had jobs to do, they took time out of their days to comfort me. My friends all went out of their way to make sure I knew they were thinking of me. I found roses in my locker and donuts in my car. My friends called me, checked in on me, took me out to dinner and overall made me feel special at a time when I was feeling pretty not special. My mom’s best friends texted me and told me to keep my head up. My boss bought me candy and talked to me for as long as I needed. One of my friends threw me a single girls party, which was actually so much fun. My mom took care of me; my dad gave me a pep talk that made me realize that, even though I was sad, I had so much to be happy about. I was a second semester senior going to Notre Dame in the fall. I had a family who loved me no matter what and friends that would hold me up when I needed it most. I did not need a boy—I never did. While having one is nice, I wish I wouldn’t have based so much of my self-worth on it in high school.
I spent a year and a half placing my confidence in the fact that I had a boy who was interested in me. I spent a year flaunting my relationship so people would think I mattered. While I did deeply care about him and my heart was truly in the relationship, I didn’t know how to be strong and confident on my own. I needed to take time for myself. I truly thought that Valentine’s Day would be the worst day of my life; but instead, it was the day that put me on a path toward success. I realized that there was an abundant amount of love in my life, with or without a boyfriend. I realized that the relationship that I needed to put first was my relationship with myself. Now, I’m not trying to act like I did this flawlessly. I made mistakes—including some really big ones—but that Valentine’s Day put me on a track toward where I am now. For that, I am thankful.
Today, I find confidence in myself from myself. I don’t need the approval of a boy to tell me that I’m worth it. I know that I am. This newfound self-love has proven to be so rewarding. All of my relationships in my life have flourished because of it! When I believe in who I am, I can put my best foot forward and truly be myself. I’m currently involved in another relationship, but this one is so much better because I can just enjoy it. I don’t need to put the pressure of my self-worth on it, which lets it thrive. I always thought people were crazy when they said you have to love yourself before you can be in a good relationship with someone else, but it’s so true.
Whenever I tell someone that I got dumped the week of Valentine’s Day, they always say that they’re sorry or that it sucks—which I guess it does. However, I wouldn’t change a thing. Even if I couldn’t see it at the time, that breakup would send me on the path to be who I am today.
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