To many people, this number seems insignificant and random. But to me, this number meant a lot. 862 was the number of miles away from home I moved from Alexandria, Virginia to Milwaukee, Wisconsin to start college at Marquette University.
When I began looking at colleges, I was sure I wanted to go out of state. I wanted to see a different part of the country, explore a whole new environment, and push myself out of my comfort zone. This is much easier said than done. The whole idea of moving halfway across the country for school seemed glamorous, exciting, and adventurous. Once I began Orientation Week, I truly believed I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I told myself to face the challenge, and ended up loving Marquette as the semester went on. During those first few months, I learned a lot about myself. There are two important lessons that the number 862 taught me.
The first it taught me was to reconsider how I defined myself. I went to a small high school where I knew the same group of kids since 4th grade. When you are surrounded by the same people for most of your adolescent life, the way you define yourself is set from an early stage. People define you by the activities you involve yourself in and how you carry yourself. I was known as the theatre kid with the curly red hair who loved history classes, playing softball, and writing creative stories. This was tied to my identity because that was the impression everyone around me had. Once I got to college, that identity was severed from me. The people in my classes or who lived on the same floor as me in my dorm didn’t know I did every musical and play in high school or that I loved history. When people ask the question of, “What do you like to do?”, you are the only one who can answer that. You are starting fresh because for one of the first times in your life, you have the chance to define yourself, not the others around you. This taught me a lot about what I am truly passionate about, and how I want others to view me.
Another lesson I learned was how hard it is to stay true to who you are, as cheesy as it sounds. I remember how hard it was the find a friend group my freshman year. The students I attempted to gravitate towards were friendly, but we had nothing in common. My experience of trying to make friends with some people in college feels like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole – it simply does not fit. You never realize how hard it is to find “your people” during college because it takes time. It can be hard to be in a conversation with other people and realize you have nothing in common. As easy as it would be to pretend to enjoy certain activities, music, or entertainment to fit in, I wanted to find people who accepted me for me. Soon enough, I found people that I felt like I didn’t have to force anything with. It took a bit of time to create meaningful relationships, but the waiting was worth it.
Moving almost halfway across the country to start college taught me a lot of things. But most importantly, it taught me that I was the only one who could define myself and finding the right people takes time, patience and effort.