Dear freshman year dorm room,
Boy, oh boy. Did I really love to hate you.
I remember being so nervous on move-in day back in August, and it’s absolutely mind-blowing to me that I moved out this past Sunday. The time really went by faster than I thought it would, that’s for sure. Because of the virus and the craziness that is reality right now, I was afraid I wasn’t going to get a chance to truly say goodbye. I’ll be living in my sorority house next year, which I know will bring on its own set of emotions. However, I’ll always remember the good and bad times with you.
First, I absolutely dreaded coming back to you at the end of my day. I wanted to be in my own home, with my own bed, surrounded by things and people that were normal and comfortable. On the other hand, you also provided a space for me to let out all of my emotions, whether that meant laughing about something funny I saw on the quad, or shedding some tears because I was homesick.
You provided entertainment: I remember some of the times everyone on the floor would bond over the fact that our rooms all smelled like smoke. Some of us actually went up and down to different floors once just to see if the burning smell was anywhere else (our RA thought it was great we were bonding but also hysterical that we were convinced the building was going to burn down). Sometimes, people in other rooms would be too noisy, and you offered the opportunity to freely complain out loud to myself without feeling like I needed to be nice and civil all of the time.
You made me lose my mind. On cold winter weekends I felt my sanity start slipping away because I didn’t want to walk outside in the cold and the snow. The smell of Subway sandwiches wafting through your vents was also something that would make any regular person crazy, and I tried to make you more tolerable by plugging in one of those Wallflowers from Bath and Body Works so you didn’t smell like lunch meat all the time. I probably wasn’t even allowed to do that, but it had to be done to put up with living with you.
You were also the setting for hours spent studying and practicing delivering speeches for my communication class, feeling trapped and isolated because my sister and I were fighting, as well as being a place I laughed and socialized with friends while stuffing our faces full of pasta.
You offered me a place where I could start discovering who I am and what I wanted out of my college experience, and for that I am grateful. It’s odd to think that I won’t be living there next year. Some new student will unload her own physical and mental baggage this fall, not even knowing the nights and days I spent with you.
So, long story short, it’s been a real one. Freshman year dorm, you saw all the parts of me: all the crazy, messed-up, but also all of the heart, drive, and motivation to prove to myself I can be my own independent person.