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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

What Your Love Language Says About You

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at FSU chapter.

How humans express their love has been talked about for years, but the five love languages weren’t popularized until Gary Chapman released his The Five Love Languages book in 1992. Since then, the five love languages have been a phenomenon in the dating world, but it also affects your friendships, too. Whether you are in a relationship or not, it is beneficial to know what your love language is to communicate effectively what type of love you want.

1. Words of Affirmation

This love language is all about communicating with words. Someone whose love language is words of affirmation craves a partner who lifts them up through words. For example, “You look amazing today!” or “Wow, you did such a good job!” It is reassuring to hear positive affirmations from your partner. Although I am not an expert, I have noticed women value this love language more than men. While it isn’t healthy to over-reassure your partner or friends, sometimes they need a lift-me-up and this is perfect for that. 

2. Gifts

If you love searching for the perfect gift and spending hours coming up with ideas for your partner and friends, this might be one of your love languages. With this love language, you express your love for a person through sentimental and personal gifts. That also means you might expect a creative gift in return. However, remember everyone is different and even if they do not buy you a fancy gift, it does not mean they do not love or care about you. 

3. Acts of Service

If this is your love language, you appreciate when a partner or friend shows how much they love you through actions, not just words. For example, you come home from a long shift at work and your partner is cooking dinner for you because they know how stressful your day has been. In this case, a little bit goes a long way. If acts of service are something you value and your partner doesn’t, this could lead to potential arguments. 

couple on beach
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4. Quality Time 

If you love spending time binging Netflix with your partner or trying new things together, this could be your first love language. This love language is all about making an effort to spend quality time with your partner or friend. You cherish the small moments, like laughing on the couch or having a romantic dinner together. This is by far the most common love language for both men and women. 

5. Physical Touch

Lastly, if this is your love language, you crave anything that involves physical touch, whether it be holding hands, cuddling, kissing or sex. I mean, it’s in our human nature to value physical touch, and it is how humans have shown their love and affection for thousands of years. For men, especially, this is one of their first love languages. 

If you are still not sure what your main love language is, here is a quiz you can take to find out!

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Gianna is a Junior at Florida State University. She currently studies Social Science Education. Her passions include reading books, writing, and occasionally crying in the shower. Find her on Instagram: @giformica