The transition from being in a high-school relationship to being in a college relationship has been one of the hardest transitions of my college career, on par with shedding the old me and leaving my friends and family behind. My boyfriend and I are nearing three years together and while it’s had its ups and downs, I wouldn’t change a thing. However, there are certain aspects I wish I had help with to make the transition smoother, so allow me to be the fairy godmother for you that I wish I had!
- Know if long-distance is even right for you in the first place.
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I can guarantee you that everyone who is in a long-distance relationship has felt like they are missing out on their “glory days” at least once. With everyone around you embracing hook-up culture and the freedom of their youth, it’s normal to ponder if the grass is greener on the other side. The truth is, no one can decide what is right for you but you; if you’re meant to be with your partner right now, you’ll find that the pros easily outweigh the cons of being in a long-distance relationship. But if you find yourself thinking about all the other people you could be seeing, or you find yourself getting a little too close to that hottie at the latest frat party, it may be time to recognize when to call it quits.
- Making time for each other is crucial!
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Now that you’ve decided for sure that long distance is for you, you’ll find yourself unable to live with the fact that you and your partner are hundreds or thousands of miles apart. Unfortunately, it doesn’t lessen at all as time progresses. But, the yearning is manageable! We luckily live in an age where technology is at its peak, allowing for copious ways to communicate with those far from you. Be sure to make time for your partner! This doesn’t have to involve hours-long catch-up sessions (though those are perfect to fit in right before bed); you can eat meals together over Facetime, or fit in a quick call in between classes for company as you walk. The possibilities nowadays are endless! But be sure to also pick up hobbies and responsibilities that don’t involve your partner; not only will it take your mind off things, but it’ll also reinforce you being your own person!
- Kill the green-eyed monster.
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So you’ve accepted your long-distance relationship and all is fine and dandy, but all of a sudden your partner meets a new friend (of the preferred gender) who you’ve never met and they begin spending all their time with them. What is a girl to do! Firstly, trust your partner and communicate with them. Your partner is with YOU for a reason! Let them live their lives and show you that they respect you enough to not act up. And you should always feel comfortable enough to voice your concerns and have them reassure you! Reassurance really helps re-establish faith. Secondly, know your worth. You are an amazing, irreplaceable woman that anyone would be lucky to have. Once you truly know and accept this, it becomes easier to enforce what you deserve and let go of whomever doesn’t get the memo.
Being in a long-distance relationship is a job in itself, but that doesn’t mean it should feel like one. A quote that I keep close to my heart is “you must love in such a way that the other person feels free.” What that means, personally, is that a relationship shouldn’t feel possessive or suffocating; it should be a positive and healthy connection that allows both people to grow separately, together. Embracing this is the key to turning your high school sweetheart into a lasting love!
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