He loves me … he loves me not … he loves me … he loves me not … *cue flower petals falling to the ground*
Ladies, it’s time to throw that flower out the window and WATCH. THIS. MOVIE. He’s Just Not That into You is a 2009 romcom starring all our favorites: Jennifer Aniston, Bradley Cooper, Ginnifer Goodwin, and so many more. This movie is based on a book written by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, who give tough love advice to otherwise smart women on how to tell when a guy just isn’t that into you. The movie version follows a group of 20 and 30 year olds as they navigate relationships and life. Lucky for us, this movie has resurfaced on Netflix to once again share all its infinite wisdom. Let’s get the list rolling …
- He’s just not that into you if he’s not reaching out
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Ladies. Men are hunters; they go for what they want with no exceptions. If a guy is into you, he will make sure to let you know. And if you don’t hear from him, he wasn’t meant for you in the first place. In the movie, Gigi is going in circles making excuses why Connor hasn’t called her. It wasn’t until Alex said to her, “Maybe he just didn’t call because he has no interest in seeing you again,“ that Gigi finally realized she would never hear from Connor again. Do not continue to throw yourself at someone who shows you no interest. When the right man comes along, he will let you know he’s there to stay.
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Put the phone down
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We live in an age in which no matter where you look, someone has their face glued to a screen. The best way to put yourself out there is to put the phone down and look to see who’s around you. In the movie, Mary only met Connor once she put down her device, logged out of IM, and went into the real world. Often, we get lost in thoughts of, “Oh, he opened my Snapchat and didn’t reply” or “I sent him a text an hour ago and still haven’t heard back.” We rely on a technological device to reassure ourselves about the state of a relationship. Put down the phone and go build a real connection that comes from face-to-face interaction.
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Do not spend time on someone who is not spending time on you
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Say it out loud with me … do not spend time on someone who is not spending time on you. The movie makes this point loud in clear in the scene where Gigi and Alex are sitting at the bar and Alex says, “If a guy is treating you like sh*t, he genuinely doesn’t give a sh*t.” It’s harsh but the truth. Stop making excuses for why your crush is treating you like crap. If he cares, he will show it. Otherwise, pick yourself up and dust yourself off and move onto the next experience — we don’t want anyone who doesn’t want us.
- Hold yourself to a high standard
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It is easy to compare yourself to your friends. For example, your friend dated a douche-bag who ended up turning into the greatest boyfriend to walk the earth … so why can’t that happen to you? Listen here. Your friend is the exception to the “don’t date a douche-bag” rule. Alex says it best in the movie when he explains that there are rules and exceptions in the dating world. Every woman should treat herself like the rule to avoid guys who will treat girls poorly. Do not go out and date a bad guy because you think he will magically turn amazing. Hold yourself to a high standard and don’t settle for anything less. Treat yourself as the rule until you become the exception.
Although this movie was a hit in the early 2000s, its relevance still rings true today. Lessons for the dating world remain the same: be yourself, don’t go chasing after a man, and remember that it will all work out in the end.