I wish you could see where you are going to be.
I wish you could look into the future and see how it all works out.
Here’s what I wish I could have told myself a year ago.
First, stop caring about what other people think of you. From a young age, you learned how to walk into a room and be exactly the person the room wanted you to be. You knew how to fit in, but somewhere along the way you started forgetting who you really are. No matter what someone thinks is best for you, you should make decisions for yourself because you are the only one that will have to live with them. People may think they know the real you, but trust me when I say that the changes you are making are the right ones.
This next one is pretty short and sweet. Spend time with people that make you happy. If they don’t make you happy, don’t force yourself to be with them. The real people you want to be around will stay in your life, but others will slowly fade away.
Keep doing what is best for you. This goes right along with the people pleasing. If you think what is best for you is something different than what everyone else is saying, but your family supports you, then do it anyway. You’ll find you are happier when you are your authentic self.
People pleasing can be toxic, but stop people pleasing. Seriously, stop it. You hate it, but it’s second nature at this point. The problem is, your friends don’t meet the real you, and you change your personality for every person you talk to. Be yourself all the time, and if someone doesn’t like it, then who cares.
Being confident is great. Go for it. But putting off false confidence is toxic. You make everyone think that everything is okay, that nothing phases you and that your life is perfect. Then, when you breakdown from the weight of holding in all of your struggles, it’s all gonna crash and burn. Everyone is going to wonder why you’re “going off the walls” but really they just never knew the real you. They got the fake, people-pleasing version of yourself and only your family and about two other people actually knew who you were really. It is okay to have a bad day or struggle with something.
You know those little things, those things that you think don’t bother you or when they do, you shove them down so you forget them? Please stop doing that because one day they’re all gonna rise to the surface and you’re not going to be able to push all of them back down. Address them one at a time and while you’re doing this, be real with the people around you. Ask for support.
Finally, show your personality to people. I promise they like the real you more than the fake you that you’ve created in the hopes that every single person you interact with will like you. It’s exhausting to be that person constantly. Just be yourself. Get rid of the people that don’t like that version of you.
This new life is amazing, I promise. You have already come so far from where you were. You’re doing great and you are accomplishing so many of your goals.
