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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Queen's U chapter.

How romantic to have a day dedicated to your significant other…and how stressful, having a day dedicated to the person you kind of sort of maybe have a romantic thing with. So, how do you approach the topic of Valentine’s Day without establishing unreasonable expectations for either party when there is uncertainty in what the relationship is?

The Situationship

The Situationship; it’s casual, it’s fun and, and it lacks the responsibility of commitment. So when approaching the expectations of Valentine’s Day, what is appropriate to want out of the night? The relaxed nature of the relationship leaves a lot of room for interpretation and the chance of someone being disappointed is heightened. The only way out of the anxiety about what the day will entail is to be open and honest with one another. It is talking about what you want or expects as the day approaches–gross. Whether it represents the casual nature of the relationship, or be a step forward in establishing something more, Valentine’s Day plans can be very revealing of a person’s true interpretation of what the relationship is and how they view it moving forward.

heart shaped neon sign
Photo by Designecologist

The Late Night Hangout…But He Brought Flowers

He didn’t plan ahead, so after your Galentines plans, you go home and answer his text. He comes over, he takes the initiative to bring you the classic flowers, and maybe even a card, or some chocolates. This definitely represents the casual nature of the relationship between you two. The no stress, go with the flow attitude is surely one way to go. But, the last-minute plans can create some anxiety for the overall night and this doesn’t really demonstrate any intention of moving the relationship forward in the relationship. It’s fun, it’s relaxed, and it’s exactly what the relationship is. So there won’t be any shock factor at all.  

pink roses
Photo by Sidney Pearce from Unsplash

He Asks Ahead Of Time What The Plans Are

He wants to do something with you. Except, he doesn’t know how to approach a conversation of your expectations for the day. He is just as in the dark about what to do and is not wanting to let you down. He is also being cautious about creating unrealistic expectations for you about the progression of your relationship. By putting the planning in your hands, he is free of any opportunity to disappoint you or ruin what you two currently have together. His wanting to spend Valentine’s Day together shows he cares enough about what is happening between the two of you. Yet, he is cautious about giving away any insight into how he views the relationship. 

Photo by freestocks from Unsplash

He Tells You Ahead Of Time What The Plans Are 

He sees you as worth the effort of making the day memorable. There is no anxiety about his expectations as his initiative to outline the plans of the day demonstrate that he has no fear of disappointing you. His eagerness to make a point of being involved in a day that is dedicated to the person he intimately cares about definitely shows he cares about you. His initiative shows that he wants to impress you and make you happy and thus, it is definitely appropriate to interpret his actions as a direct reflection of how he feels about you and this relationship! 

rose wine
Kaboompics via Pexels

Jadyn Petitti

Queen's U '22

Third-year student in Political Science