I am going to preface this article by saying that Massachusetts is a lovely state.
Really.
It’s cool. But as an out-of-state student (New Jersey born and bred), there are just some things I don’t understand about it. Here are the top 5 things I can’t wrap my head around.
- Why do you not hold doors open for each other?
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The amount of times I’ll be walking behind someone and they just let the doors slam in my face is astonishing. Is this cultural? Are you all just rude? Even people I know won’t hold it open if I am walking with them! What gives?
- Why do you say “Wooster” instead of “Wor-chester”?
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Why do you not pronounce the “R’s” in Worcester? Manchester is pronounced “Man-chester,” so why is Worchester “Wooster?” Is there a reason, or is it just too much work to say all the extra sounds? Genuinely curious I do not understand.
- Why do you call it a “grinder?”
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Ok, I’m sorry Massachusetts but this is just dumb. Why do you call it a grinder? I would be okay with it if there was actual ground meat on it, but yesterday I saw a roast beef grinder (which was just a piece of deli meat). It’s a sandwich or a sub. Do better.
- Why do you call it Dunks’? Is saying Dunkin really that difficult?
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Okay, so this is petty. But why is it Dunks? It’s one extra syllable. Although I guess from the Worcester example, Massachusetts natives don’t like to use what they consider to be unnecessary parts of a word. What’s next, Starbs?
(In the process of writing this article, I looked up “Starbs” and it brought up Starbucks. Shocked and unhappy.)
- What does wicked mean?
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So many people have tried to explain this to me, and I just do not get it. Everyone uses the example of “wicked good” and they ask what I say instead of wicked in that context.
I always respond “I don’t know, it’s really good?” Why do you all insist on the wicked? You won’t say all the “r’s” in Worcester, or “Dunkin,” but the sentence “I got some wicked good coffee from Dunks over in Wooster” is apparently okay.
Overall, Massachusetts is a really cool state. But some of the stuff you do (and say) is frankly, weird.