Because of internalized misogyny, I (and a lot of girls around the world) were taught to hate traditionally feminine people and things. Being a teenage girl in a misogynistic world is hard. If you like “basic” things you are laughed at for being a stereotypical teenage girl. If you don’t you are applauded for not being like other girls. But, making fun of girls who “aren’t like other girls” is a new popular way to make fun of young women. There isn’t a right way to be a teenage girl and because of this, every choice can easily be made fun of.
I was one of those girls who desperately wanted to be different from other girls. I wanted to be taken seriously and I knew that being feminine wasn’t going to gain me any respect. It didn’t feel right but, I wanted to fit in. As I got a little older I realized that I don’t care what other people think. I’m feminine through and through and I refuse to apologize for it.
Unfortunately, because of my past, I now know there are a few women that I need to apologize to. By rejecting femininity I found myself rejecting and being mean to people because of internalized misogyny. Here are a few:
- Megan Fox
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I was so jealous (and so very attracted) to you when I was a teenager. I was envious of your sexualization without understanding how cruel and objectifying the male gaze can be. I didn’t take a second to realize that you were a victim of misogyny and made the conscious choice to bully you. For that, I’m truly sorry.
- “Girly girls” and feminine women
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Again this was definitely a case of jealousy. I think that that part of the reason why I hated feminine women so much was that I knew they were self-assured and confident. During my “not like other girls” phase I was so insecure and unsure of myself I lashed out. I’m so sorry for that.
- Kristen Stewart
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I loved Twilight until I was told that it was stupid. When Kristen Stewart started to get hate I jumped on the bandwagon. But, if I’m being honest if teenage boys decided to love Twilight instead of teenage girls it would be considered brilliant. You aren’t a bad actress Kristin. You were another victim of misogyny. I’m sorry.
- The girls that I chose to slut-shame
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I have no excuse for this. I was uneducated about female sexuality and my opinions were off base and uncalled for. I’m disgusted by my past mindset and I’m really sorry.
- Beauty Gurus
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Makeup is an art form and it takes a lot of skill. I think that my dislike of beauty gurus was because of slut-shaming and my dislike of feminine women. I was so jealous of a lot of beauty guru’s confidence, beauty, and ability to love themselves. I’m so sorry for being mean and awful to a group of people.
- Female friends that I rejected because I wanted to be “one of the guys”
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Honestly, I hear the phrase, “I only have guy friends because girls are too much drama” too much. And honestly? It’s misogynistic and these words should have never come out of my or anyone else’s mouth. I’m sorry that I missed out on possible friendship and judged women because of my own insecurities.
- Myself
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For a while, I didn’t allow myself to be my most authentic self because I was afraid of judgment. I wish that I would have had the confidence to be true to myself but I didn’t. I’m sorry that I didn’t find the strength to do what was best for myself. But, I am happy that I did eventually find my way.