I have to be honest- I haven’t sat down to write like this in a while. I used to get so excited to turn out weekly content, but like everything else in my life as of late, it started to feel like work. I saw these deadlines I needed to meet in a list with everything else in my planner, and as I begun to prioritize what needed to get done, writing for the joy of it seemed to slip away.
Well don’t worry because I’m back this time. I promise!
I’m currently in the busiest semester of my life thus far. I spend each day balancing 19 credit hours, a remote internship, KU’s campus ad agency, and daily rehearsals for a musical revue (I promise I get sleep, sometimes). In the process of getting all my ducks in a row, those things I have passion for, like writing, became less important. Earlier tonight, I sighed realizing I had yet another deadline to meet, and it was for this article. I took a warm shower right before this to decide what I could even write about, if anything at all.
It suddenly dawned on me- why am I stressing out about this? I love to write! I love being able to look at a page and see written out those things which I could never say verbally, letting my creativity flow without fear of judgement. There are so many things in my life that were once joys but have gradually become tedious, and I know I’m not alone in feeling this.
I think about high school when I would get out everyday and just run. I would try to find new trails and bridges with my cross-country team, or even by myself. Now, I feel far too busy to be so active. Why would I waste time running when I have essays to write and spreadsheets to fill out? Of course, this is just a manner of making time for it and realizing that it is never selfish to prioritize what you want and need. I know I love to exercise, and I know how good it is for me. Remind me, once I finish writing this article, I have to set my alarm to wake up early and go for a run. It WILL happen!
Anyways, back to writing. I am literally making a career out of how much I love to communicate and be creative, whether that’s on a stage or through media. How have I come to dread my life’s pursuit?! Maybe if I took up meditation or something, I could center myself and look inward to see where my motivation lies (it is important to note, however, that because of my ADHD, I’ve never made it more than 20 seconds into a mindfulness exercise).
In any case, I think I have it partially figured out. It’s all about realizing where your heart is and being able to put your heart in the work you do. As I write this article, I can feel my thoughts flowing through my fingertips, and I know that this is where my passion lies. I know my heart is back in the work because I have allowed my mind the freedom to explore all its various thoughts, finding joy in each sentence. It’s such a wonderful feeling, and I have missed it dearly.
