Friendships can have ups and downs, but sometimes there are too many downs, and the friendship may be better off as a memory; either way, it is sad. Here is advice to figure out whether you should save a friendship or let it go.
- How To Reach Out To a Friend That Has Been Distant
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You may have a friend that you consider a best friend that has become distant and they mean so much to you to walk out of your life. If you want to have a meaningful conversation, I have learned face to face or calling is best, because often times people type words that someone can take the wrong way. Text them some times when you are free to talk and if they are open to it, call them! Do not accuse your friends of acting a certain way, let them know how you are feeling about the friendship. Instead of saying “you have not been putting in the effort,” say “I feel effort has not been made on your part and it hurts me because…” This way they do not feel attacked. I have been in situations where you say things in the heat of the moment that a friend may take the wrong way and it makes the situation even worse, so think carefully about your words.
- Be The Better Person
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As people grow up they form stronger connections with friends and value them more in life, but sometimes their friends do not value them back. Just because a friend is acting in a certain way does not mean they should get the same treatment back. People go through hard times in life and sometimes they need a simple text or call to show you care and are still there for them. Friends can become distant because they may feel guilty they haven’t put effort into the friendship and rather than reach out to make things better they probably will take the easier route and stay away. Giving that support to a friend and letting them know you are there for them can be a really good thing.
However, if you keep reaching out with no effort in return you may want to rethink your friendship because a one sided friendship won’t last forever. If the conversation goes well, meet up for lunch and try and get your friendship back to where it was. Do not push people away that you care about.
- Take The Good, Leave The Bad
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I have grown up with my mom always telling me that everybody has good and bad parts and sometimes you have to focus on only the good of someone. If someone has more good than bad, then there is not a good reason to leave the friendship. If a friend is sarcastic a lot, you may need to learn how to block out their sarcasm, by not reacting to it. If a friend is rude on text but fun to hang around, then text them less. If a friend easily gets stressed during the school week then know that friend is probably only best to talk to on weekends and we need to learn that this is okay. However this should not be confused with any of the points made in this article about leaving friends. This is solely based on taking the good out of a friend.
- When To Let a Friend Go
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We may not have the same friends that we had at five years old because we change as we get older. Some people may have friendships from twelve years old that will not end. The key to keeping a healthy friendship is both sides putting in enough effort to make sure each friend knows they are cared about. Some people may have a good friend for a year and their friendship falls apart because of a bad decision on one side.
Knowing when to let a friend go can be tricky. If they are not someone you can see yourself being around anymore or you can no longer be yourself around them then it’s time to walk away from the friendship. If you are constantly being teared down, then they are not your friend and you should part ways. Parting ways can either mean letting the friend know in the best way possible that the friendship is no longer something you’re interested in. Or to ease your way out of talking to somebody.
Friendships are hard and friends come and go so when you find that one person who stays by your side do not take them for granted and let them know how lucky you are to have them as a friend.