Finding Myself in College

Like many teenage girls, I used to think I always had everything figured out. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be, and college was no exception. To no one’s surprise but my own, it turns out that I actually didn’t really know what my future was going to look like, and the path I had dreamed of wasn’t all that I had cracked it up to be. 

It has always been my goal to be the most successful version of myself. As a kid, I dreamed big and pictured myself in all kinds of careers–I wanted to do it all. High school was a pivotal point for me because that is when I truly started dreaming about what my future would look like, but with realistic goals this time. I thought of being a business woman and living in a big city, surrounded by the hustle and bustle of other corporate employees. This ambition led me to the conclusion that I wanted to study marketing and completely immerse myself in the business world. I found it all to be so intriguing. 

After entering college and beginning a business degree, I quickly found out that it wasn’t everything I had hoped it would be. Topics I thought I would have loved felt uninteresting to me and I was rapidly losing motivation to learn. I only cared about passing. I’ve always been an excellent student and had such a strong love for learning, but somewhere along the way I lost that. I struggled in areas I thought I would have excelled in and found myself to be rather disappointed, since this had been my goal for years now. How could something I’ve worked so hard for start to feel so wrong? In my heart, I knew that something was wrong and this was not the path for me. Admitting this to myself was extremely difficult and bruised my ego. I hate feeling like I am failing at something or even worse, quitting. On top of that, I had to tell my parents, who are paying thousands of dollars for me to get my degree, that this was not right for me. I was afraid that I would be letting them down. The one thing that I am most grateful for is that I have extremely supportive parents who want me to see me succeed, whatever that looks like. 

Second semester of freshman year, I worked hard to improve my grades and begin on a new path with a new goal of changing my major for the fall. After meeting with advisors and having tough conversations with my parents, I found out that business was not completely wrong for me–I was just on the wrong side of it. With a little bit of soul searching, I discovered that although I am super business-minded, I much prefer to be on the creative side of things rather than the analytical and numbers side. This realization led me to the strategic communications major. This degree includes classes based on creativity and business-like scenarios which have helped me combine two of my strong suits. 

When I think back on my freshman year, I remember how frustrated I felt because I was working so hard but something never fully clicked for me. I was unhappy and very discouraged from college in general. This is something that I feel we don’t hear a lot about. In my experience, many people describe college as the best years of their lives and others say they dropped out when they figured out it wasn’t for them. Both of these experiences are valid and completely understandable. But where are the people who struggled until they found their right path? Switching majors in college is not uncommon. 80% of college students change their major at least once. 

After one and a half semesters of being in the right major, my love for learning reappeared and I feel much more confident in myself as a student. After getting over the initial frustration of feeling like I was failing, I realized that this was all a part of my path in the first place. I learned a lot about myself and tested my boundaries. Not only did my academics improve, but I became a much more confident person and happier all around. I have new goals for myself and a new dream that I am pursuing. I never fully let go of my initial goals but instead adapted them, and I am pursuing a minor in business. I continue to be an ambitious person and now I’m positive that change isn’t always a bad thing, though it may feel difficult at first. I encourage everyone to embrace the difficulties that life throws at you because for all you know, they might be knocking you onto the right path. 

• academics
• college
• future
• lifestyle