I vividly remember when I was in primary school thinking that six years was an extremely long time. It felt like I was never going to graduate from primary education and now here I am graduating from university within a blink of an eye. It would be a lie to say that studying came naturally to me (math and science were literally the bane of my existence!). While there were subjects that I enjoyed or were slightly better at, it did not mean that I had an easy time with them. Even though my major, literature and art history, plays to my strengths, it still has brought me many tears even if I am more inclined towards the humanities. As such, it is safe to say that graduating from university has relieved me of some of my stress. With that being said, this period of transition has brought along its own set of worries.
Firstly, given that I have finished my final examinations, technically I am no longer a university student. At the same time I do not feel as if the next chapter of my life has begun. I feel as if I have been thrown into the ocean and left to figure things out on my own. For many years up to this moment, I have tied my identity to that of being a student. Quite frankly, it is all I have known for the majority of my life – from entering preschool all the way up to being an undergrad. At this moment in time, I feel as if my identity has been ripped away from me. This identity crisis is made more overwhelming as I am someone who takes a while to get used to change.This sudden shift from being a student to being unemployed has definitely caused me to feel aimless and to question my identity.
Secondly, now that I am no longer a student and am not planning on pursuing a Masters, I have to start planning for the next step of my journey – getting employed. I would like to first express my appreciation for both my parents and acknowledge the privilege I have: not being pressured into finding a full time job immediately. However the thought of relying on my parents amidst the troubling state of our economy and its inflation, and the desire to be financially independent has definitely pushed me to start searching for jobs. I know that finding a job will take time and can be a long and arduous process, as I have witnessed from close relatives and friends. Yet I can’t help but worry about being unemployed. While part of this worry, as I have previously stated, stems from being a burden to my parents, another reason for my anxiety is the notion that I have attached with being employed – my self worth. As a human being, it comes as no surprise that most of us want validation for our efforts. For me, in this particular case, I seek some sort of validation for the hard work and tears shed during my formative years in our education system. I know that I am not the only one who feels this way. This is why I have decided to write this as my last article for HCNTU. As cliche as this sounds, I hope that whoever feels just lost just as I am will find comfort knowing that they are not the only one struggling in this uncertainty we call life. That even though we are just strangers across the internet, I hope you know that someone is always rooting for you!