How dating apps have destroyed the perception of love
As kids, we’re constantly told stories and fairytales where people fall madly in love when they least expect it. Love stories are all around us; we’re conditioned to believe that long phone calls and candlelit dinners are what we deserve. An idealized version of romance is ingrained into our minds through books and movies that we believe to be real life. In the digital age, however, finding that person has become a near impossible task for those in their late teens and early twenties.
Through the frenzy that is online dating and social media apps, those looking for a happily ever after are trapped in an endless cycle of feeling unwanted and used. The first problem with dating now, especially online, begins with the profile. We share the most edited versions of ourselves to appear perfect, with maybe a few extra pieces of information about age and location. Simply put, a relationship is built solely on appearance.
Relationships, while they require a level of physical attraction, are meant to be built on how you get along with someone, getting to know them and experiencing moments together. Rather than a real connection with someone, dating has become a superficial experience with little to no substance. People tell you that your late teens and early twenties are such an important time for meeting people and dating, but disregard what it requires to do so.
We compare ourselves to our friends and their love lives, slowly breaking down confidence in who we are. This vicious cycle of putting yourself out there and not finding what you intended to find is hard to continue on with. We hear about success stories of the rare few who do find the love of their life from an app, but this is not a common occurrence.
When you’re the type of person to want to meet someone while sitting at a cafe, going out to dinner or reading in a bookstore, it’s hard to feel like you’ll ever find someone. Being surrounded by people wrapped up in dating apps, you are told you’re not doing enough to initiate any type of romantic interaction. It’s not wrong to want something better than meaningless validation through texting, but it’s hard to find more.
Ultimately, there’s nothing wrong with staying away from online dating. Waiting until it feels like the right thing to take part in makes sense and there’s no reason to rush. Dating shouldn’t be a pressured experience, rather, when an opportunity presents itself, there will be a happily ever after.