I Stopped Obsessing Over Boys & Focused On Other Things

I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve never had a boyfriend. I am a little ashamed to admit that it has been somewhat of a priority for me to get a boyfriend. You may label me as boy crazy, and you wouldn’t be the first to do so. Maybe it’s because I’ve never had a boyfriend, but I have always been a little obsessed with boys. I like looking at them, talking about them and just generally thinking about them.

A couple of weeks ago, however, I decided that this constant fixation needed to end. I realized that there are so many more important things to worry about and think about and just put my time and energy into than boys. Plus, when the time comes, I know I’ll happily be in a relationship. Until I meet the right person, though, I’m going to focus on more important things. Here are some things we can do instead of obsessing over boys.

Instead of stalking that cute guy from your class on Facebook, leave some love in the comments of your friends’ posts.

We’re all guilty of cyber-stalking cute boys—don’t even try to deny it. Next time you log onto Facebook or Instagram to stalk said cute boys, however, type in your bestie’s name instead. Take some time to look through her cute pics and posts and comment with some love on a couple of them. Your bestie has been there for you through thick and thin, and all this boy has done for you is given you something nice to look at for an hour three times a week.

Instead of staring at that cute guy across the dining hall, pay attention to the conversation you’re actually a part of.

We’ve all been there. You’re sitting with a group of your friends, immersed in conversation about classes or, of course, boys, when you see a cutie across the way. You suddenly stop paying attention to the conversation that’s happening right in front of you. Instead, you’re watching this guy, wondering what he’s like, waiting for the moment (that probably won’t come) when he catches your eye and comes over to talk to you.

Instead of getting caught up in this la-la land, remain in the moment. Time with your friends is precious, especially with all of the work that comes with midterms, so make the most of it you can. Listen to your friend’s story about a random act of kindness she experienced or vent to your girls about that jerk of a professor you can’t stand.

Instead of taking that route to class where you usually see that cute boy, take a new route with that friend you haven’t seen much and have a nice chat.

As you get stuck in our daily routines of the semester, you’re bound to recognize some of the people you pass on the way to class, and chances are there are some cute boys. At this point in the semester, you’ve gotten used to seeing them on your walk to class. Maybe you even look forward to it because they’re just so darn cute to look at!

But it’s that time of the semester when everyone gets busy with studying for midterms or writing papers, so chances are you haven’t been able to hang out with your friends as much recently. Reach out to the friend you haven’t seen much lately and try to figure out when both of your schedules allow you to walk to class together. Can’t find a time that matches up? Meet up for coffee or froyo instead!

Instead of going to the coffee shop to study alone and ~happen~ to look at cute boys, ask someone you don’t know very well to coffee.

Don’t deny that part of the reason you go to coffee shops to work is to check out cute hipster boys. While that’s all fine and dandy, coffee shops are also great places to have coffee with people you’d like to get to know! You’ve met so many people in your time on campus that you could stand to get to know better, whether they’d make a great friend or networking resource. Reach out to one of these people and ask to take them to coffee. They’ll be flattered you thought of them and reached out.

Related: What to Do When You See Last Semester's Crush for the First Time

Instead of sitting on campus and telling yourself you’re doing homework while actually getting distracted by cute boys, read a book at your favorite campus spot.

Studying outside can be distracting enough, but when you add cute boys to the equation? Impossible. You know you’re not going to get much done when you tell yourself that you’re going to your favorite campus spot to get some studying done.

Instead, head to your favorite spot to read that book that’s been sitting on your nightstand untouched for weeks. Free reading is a great way to take a break from the hustle and bustle of college work. Not only is it relaxing, but it’s also a great way to keep yourself cultured.

Instead of thinking about boys, think about yourself.

In college, it’s easy to put a lot of things before yourself, whether it’s homework, clubs or spending time with a friend. That can also include looking at and thinking about cute boys. Why focus on stupid boys when your badass babe of a self needs some attention, too? Don’t forget to give yourself a little TLC—you work so hard and do so much, so be sure to take a little you time. You’re the most important person in your life! So take care of yourself every once in a while.

It’s impossible to blind yourself to boys completely. Trust me, I’ve tried. But it is possible to take some of your attention off of them. There are so many more important things for you to worry about and put your time into than boys right now. Someday you’ll be in an amazing relationship if that’s what you want, but for now, it’s important to give yourself and the important people in your life some love and attention.

Sarah Nelson is senior at the University of Iowa pursuing a Journalism major, English minor, and Fundraising and Philanthropy Communication Certificate. When she's not binge-watching One Tree Hill or Jane the Virgin on Netflix (again), she's is probably rereading the Harry Potter series or writing for her blog, SarahNdipity. With an addiction to books and coffee, Sarah hopes to take the world by storm as a book editor. Or social media marketer. Or blogger. (She hasn't quite made up her mind yet, but that's okay because who says you have to be just one thing?)

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