So you’ve been creeping his Instagram since you met him at a friend’s birthday dinner 2 weeks ago. Or maybe you have your eye on that cutie in your Shakespeare tutorial. Sure he’s cute, but is there more to him than his physical appearance? What’s his opinion on the Syrian refugee crisis? Does he wet his toothbrush before, or after putting on toothpaste? Did he vote for Harper in the last Federal election? There is no such thing as a perfect partner, but I found some Twitter users who asked 10 questions you should consider before making a move.
1. “Yeah he’s cute but is he automatic supersonic hypnotic funky fresh?” by @EmmaKefer
If the person you have your eye on can’t burst out their own spontaneous version of “1,2 Step,” by Ciara, where’s the fun in that? All jokes aside, I want someone who can rap along to Jay Z while I do my best Beyonce impression. I want someone right beside me as we dance like nobody’s watching – whether that be on the dance floor or in the rain. (I promise I am not a hopeless romantic). Dancing, karaoke and freestyle sessions are great way to relieve stress and let your playful side peek through. If he can’t handle you when you’re silly, he doesn’t deserve you when you’re serious!
2. “Hmm RT @kaireortiz: Yeah he’s cute, but is he an intersectional feminist who understands white privilege & strongly dislikes the patriarchy?” by @Kaireortiz
John Legend. Joseph Gordon Levitt. Matt McGorry. Mark Ruffalo. Aziz Ansari. These are just a few male celebrities who have proudly accepted the feminist label and spoken out about various feminist issues. We as women can speak up for ourselves, but there is something especially attractive about someone who is willing to smash the patriarchy by your side.
3. “Yeah he’s cute, but is he funny? Does he have aspirations? What’s his favorite book? Who does his laundry? Does he go home for the holidays?” by @ddominiquee_xo
It’s easy to justify these questions with the simple statement, “Reading is sexy,” but in reality, a person’s favourite book reveals lot about them. Even if I have never heard of or read it, I will want to read it and find out why it’s his favourite. In return, I want to talk about how the final Dexter book makes me angry and why Bad Feminist by Roxanne Gay made me tear up. Now I know not everyone enjoys reading books (GASP!), so hopefully his sense of humor and penchant for doing laundry compensates.
4. “Yeah he’s cute but what are his critical thinking abilities? His political stance? Socioeconomic aspirations? I need answers” by @accessforbidden
We need answers indeed! While nobody has their life all figured out, I think we can all agree that a potential partner should have their own aspirations and be working towards their own short-term goals. They should also be able to hold down an intellectual conversation about topics that matter. While opinions and ambitions don’t have to align perfectly, I think shared values and good communication are the basis for a strong relationship.
5. “Yeah he’s cute but is he nice to his mom and the environment?” by @Jammy_Cammy05
He may pass the test of meeting your mom, but how does he treat HIS mother? Often how a person treats their mother (or even restaurant staff) can provide insight into their personality. Whether it be their own mother, or Mother Earth, don’t miss the red flag of someone who is blatantly disrespectful and ungrateful.
6. “Yeah, he’s cute but is he Fergalicious?” by @JuanitoG1
Definition? See here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5T0utQ-XWGY
7. “Ya he’s cute… but is he conscientious of the social inequalities and corruption in hierarchies of power that plague this world” by @SadieHamilton15
How does he feel about the fact that the gender gap in Ontario ranges from 12 per cent to 31.5 per cent, and is most pronounced for aboriginal and women in minority groups? Is he aware of the study that found within a few years of graduation, women with MBAs earn lower salaries, manage fewer people, and are less pleased with their progress than men with the same degree? Does he know that 60% of women with a disability in Canada experience some form of violence? What is he doing to help reverse rape culture?
8. “Sure he’s cute, but is he an intersectional feminist who doesn’t believe in reverse racism and supports the LGBTQA+ community??” by @M3gzz_
If he answers “yes,” my next question is, “Would you like to stay for dinner?”
9. “He’s cute…but is he aware of the longstanding power dynamics and systems put in place that oppress women and people of color?” by @FeminismSHS
10. “Ya he’s cute but is he going to challenge me intellectually?” by @arrianaitzel
Yeah he’s cute, but it’s 2016. You owe yourself the love you give to others. Is he worth it? You won’t know until you try. But remember that your time is valuable and you should never settle for less than your deserve. Be with someone who challenges you to be a better person and inspires you to do well in all that you do. In turn, challenge and motivate them to do the same. Those are #relationshipgoals.