While I will be the first to admit that hours upon hours of conditioning is pretty miserable, there are few things worse than having to sit and watch everyone play while you’re hurt. As an injured athlete, you have the same hours as everyone else; you are at every workout, every lift, and every conditioning session. In addition, however, you get to be in rehab for an extra hour, at physical therapy for an extra hour, and doing cardio in the pool for an extra thirty minutes. And of course, don’t forget all the mornings you have to wake up early to go to your 3rd follow-up appointment to see if you’ll be cleared…and you probably won’t be. From someone who specializes in being an injured athlete, here are a few tips on how to keep yourself entertained:
1. When you’re running the timer for your teammates during sprints, try starting the timer at least +2 seconds after the coaches say “go.” This is fun because you get to see how much you can cheat without your coaches noticing. Also, this allows everyone to complete the sprint on time, which will make your coaches very happy because they think their team is well-conditioned. This will also help you make friends on your team because some will only be completing the sprints in time because you’re the one running the clock. Good work!
2. Bring nail polish to your captain’s practices. Go ahead and give your nails a nice new shine while you’re sitting on the bench, watching your team play. After all, your nails aren’t going to paint themselves.
3. You’ll be walking around campus a lot, and you may have a sling, cast, etc. When people ask you what happened, try changing up the story every now and then. Sure, you might be fibbing a bit, but who does that really hurt? You’ll never see Jim again, so what’s it matter if he thinks that you saved a child from a wild, rabid wolverine? You’re a hero for being hurt (even if the injury occurred while celebrating a victory), and you deserve that recognition.
4. Do you have a history of starting new things and then immediately quitting them? Yes? Perfect. This tip is for you. Start thinking about different hobbies you can get involved in. Buy a cheap ukulele online, and then stop playing it within a week because you can’t figure out how to tune it. Sure, you’ll be disappointed that you can’t play the ukulele within a week of buying it, but don’t forget that you now own a ukulele. You are music.
5. If your coaches are anything like mine, they won’t stop yelling at you about cheering your teammates on. Make this personal. Become the head cheerleader you never were. See if you can yell loudly and often enough that they actually request you cheer less. That’ll show ‘em.