Friday classes have come to an end and the excitement for the weekend has set in. Your phone is buzzing with messages from your group text asking what the plans are for the night. Your roommates all huddle in one bedroom eager for the celebrations to begin when someone asks the question every girl dreads— “So, what are you guys wearing tonight?”
Lets get one thing straight, the getting ready process for girls is one of the worst experiences we have to go through. It is right up there with bad break ups, killing spiders, and “that time of the month.” Sure, the final product looks great, but no one knows the emotional rollercoaster we go through to get there. Here is a list of the multiple obstacles a girl must overcome in order to transform from Shrek to Fiona.
Phase 1: The Excitement Phase
This phase is the start of the night where every one is still in a good mood. You did 30 minutes of cardio, ate a healthy dinner, and swear that in certain lighting you have abs. Maybe just maybe the new crop top you bought will look good on tonight. The alcohol is bought and the pregame is planned out so what could possibly go wrong?
Phase 2: The “I guess I should shower” Phase
This is when you first begin to get ready. The giddy phase is slowly starting to fade because you now realize you haven’t shaved your legs in three weeks and a shower is probably a good call. After your shower, you lay in your towel for about 40 minutes while your roommates think you are actually getting ready. You refresh your Instagram feed every 30 seconds and when you realize nothing has change, you surrender and decide to at least run a brush through your hair to make some sort of progress in your transformation. This is also the time when you look in the mirror and realize that whoever you marry is going to have to see you like this every morning…oh shit. I am forever single.
Phase 3: The Outfit Phase
This is the absolute worst phase there is. You can’t stuff one more shirt in your closet if you tried; yet you have absolutely no clothes. Suddenly everything you own is absolutely hideous and panic starts to form. There is a good chance your spotless room ends up absolutely trashed with reject outfits and you’re about ready to say “F it” and give up on going out all together. Is that a tear that’s starting to form? Yep, those are real tears. Tears because you are ugly and 500 pounds with the world’s worst wardrobe. Oh and to make matters worse, your roommate just walked in asking you “Hey, does this look okay?” and yes, it looks freaking great and you have to tell her that but deep down you want to say “Uhm…maybe try something else,” just so she wont look better than you.
Phase 4: The “I give up. Lets get trashed phase”
This is the point where you have given up on looking cute and decide to throw on the next outfit you pick out. It is also the where the question of whether or not you are blacking out tonight has been answered because of the post traumatic stress disorder you now feel from choosing an outfit. Ten shots from now you won’t even remember how crappy you felt about yourself 20 minutes ago, so let the drinking begin!
Even though getting ready can be a dreadful experience for girls, we need to realize that we look DAMN GOOD no matter what. Let the Instagram likes speak for themselves and stop being so hard on yourself. Celebrate the night and not the outfit. If you are doing it right, you won’t remember what you look like anyways.