It’s your first week on campus and you’re about to be late to class… again. Booking it up Bascom with your backpack filled with unnecessary notebooks, folders, a multitude of colored pens and monogramed pencils, you can’t help but notice that while your trek begins to feel longer, the weight of your backpack is lighter. This realization makes you believe one of two things: either your legs just did some serious bulking up, or your backpack is slowly leaking. Stopping dead in your tracks, you dramatically, and slowly, spin on your heel to survey the damage. But, wait. Is that a cute guy picking up every single pink pen, rainbow eraser and miniature hand sanitizer bottle in sight?
“I think these are yours,” he replies, in a voice as deep as the Grand Canyon.
And the rest is history.
Sure, we all want this cute cliché love story, but what happens after you get it? After countless dates and “study sessions”, when is it time to introduce this lovely fellow to your family? How do you know it is the right time? Perhaps most importantly, how do you meet the family and avoid all possible awkward situations? Have no fear, all your meet the parent’s questions will be answered, and I promise that the event will be nothing like the movie.
First and foremost, it is important to know for sure that you both see a future together. If you have yet to discuss this, notice how Prince Charming acts around you. How often does he say “we”? Does he tell you what is going on in his world while also making sure you fit in it? It is always easiest to just be upfront with how you are feeling. Let him know how you feel about the relationship and what you want out of it. Once exclusivity is established, then the talk of meeting the fam can commence.
Now that you know he will definitely be the one to grab your glass slipper (or Louis Vuitton) when you’re running late from a party, it’s time to make the family rounds. Traditionally a guy would meet the girl’s family first, but it definitely varies in circumstance. Whichever family you choose to be the test run, be sure that it is just the immediate family. More than that can be intimidating and stray from the goal—to encourage a new relationship between your family and the Prince.
With that in mind, avoid a drama-filled dinner. Make the invitation casual—choosing a restaurant that you know both the family and the Prince enjoy can be a comfort to both sides. If both have already been to the restaurant, there are no worries about menu issues (such as vegetarian or allergy needs). Providing Prince Charming with a crash course on your family isn’t essential, because you both should know each other well enough to have spoken upon topics relating to your families. However, consider letting him in on little family quirks prior to dinner. These may include your parents’ allergies to food, how they feel about alcohol, current tiffs between you and your siblings, etc. This information will help you both to anticipate and diffuse potential conflict ahead of time.
Before you ride off in your glass carriage, there are a few logistics that need to be discussed. Make sure he knows the proper etiquette when meeting your family. When my boyfriend met mine, I made sure he knew to shake both my parent’s hands, take his shoes off at the door, laugh at my dad’s jokes about getting the gun out, and compliment my mother on her decorations. While I do come from a traditional, southern household, these are all around polite tools to ensure the upmost support of your relationship from her parents. If they feel as though you can treat them right, parents will be much more comfortable with the idea of your guy treating their little girl right too.
My final bit of advice—don’t rush it. While a new relationship can feel fun and exciting, meeting the parents is a big deal. If you’re still feeling the situation out, trust your gut and wait a few months before setting everyone up. If you’re still questioning whether or not you want him to be someone in your life, perhaps it is not the right time. When establishing a relationship, it’s okay to ask right off the bat what his feelings are regarding meeting the parents for the first time. Having a relationship with complete honesty will make meeting the parents even easier!