The Five People You Meet In Heaven Over Thanksgiving Break
Thanksgiving break can either go one of two ways. If you’re lucky, you go home to a nice peaceful and quiet house, don’t get nailed with questions from relatives you’ve spoken to once in your life, and you can gossip to your friends without your mom’s ear glued to your bedroom door. Or…on the flip side, you spend not just Thanksgiving night, but the whole 5-day vacation running into people left and right that happened to be the absolute last people you want to see.
The Ex
After a solid three months of figuring out ways to avoid “it” over your first break home, obviously you can’t expect anything less than running into him within in seconds of being home. You catch him off guard out of the corner of your eye, and at first glance your heart begins to race as you wonder…do I look okay? Should I pretend I don’t see him? Do I give him a smirk? Do I let him notice me first? The complete opposite of how you planned to react is undoubtedly what happens. In the midst of sweat beads filling your upper lip, you clearly walk out awkwardly half-ass smiling at him before he even has time to lean in for an uncomfortable hug.
The Grandparents
Face it, you’re never going to be able to stuff your face with turkey and stuffing in peace. Every bite is another question. Other than being worried about breathing after Thanksgiving dinner, you now have to worry about breathing between questions your grandparents are pounding at you about your most recent boyfriend or why you aren’t working 3 jobs a semester. After bullshitting your way through that dinner the last thing you need is for the other set of grandparents to take a stab at you during dessert.
The Family You Used To Babysit For
I mean I guess bumping into the 5 year old girls you used to babysit isn’t that bad. There is a million and one other things that you would be worse than talking about snack time during kindergarten and the newest outfit for her American Doll. But, it’s the parents that give you the headache. You’re obligated to stand there, without letting your smile drop, as they tell you about their lives and how horrible it is without you. The 5 babysitters they’ve gone through, how their kids don’t listen to anyone else, and before you know it you’re spending your only Friday night home playing dress up for a whopping $48.
An Old Teacher
What’s more awkward than seeing a teacher out of school? Seeing a teacher outside of school once you’ve graduated. The conversation sounds along the lines of a thank-you card about all the great writing techniques and stupid, yet useful, acronyms that you still cant get out of your head. And of course, it ends with that awkward…do I hug my teacher goodbye?
The Booty Call
Yeah, there’s nothing to do. But laugh. You’ve both seen each other naked. And you’re still not friends.