As a person whose lost “my person” I know exactly how it feels to not be able to deal.
But as a survivor of the death of a friendship, I have gained a greater appreciation and sort of an acceptance for the friendships that don’t make it all the way to the “cooky old ladies laughing in the back of the nursing home” stage.
My friendship break-up was no different than any other friendship that ends in turmoil.
Friends since seventh grade, tighter than Kim K’s leggings through high school, and although we went to separate colleges, we were still thick as thieves. But sadly, the friendship finally came to an end. Over what? A boy. I know right! The number one rule of friendships is, never let relationships stand in the way. But our friendship just wasn’t strong enough to withstand the abuse we put it through. Weird, right?
How can someone I was so close to for SEVEN years walk out of my life so easily and more importantly how could I let her? What did this mean for the kind of friend I was? Was I a bad friend? Well here is what I realized, friendships aren’t measured by the amount of time you know someone. Even though it is painful to let a friendship die, we have to let them go. Because, as hard as it is to say, sometimes, we outgrow the relationships we have made. That’s a bad thing!
I loved this girl like I would love my own sister.
We did not see eye to eye on everything, nor did we even have the same goals. Me being the hometown girl who wanted to grow up get married, pop out a couple of kids and have a pet cow, I couldn’t always understand the small-town girl who aspired to get out and explore the wonders of the world and despised the idea of being just any old hometown girl. But these two girls are the women we grew into.
In the seventh grade, neither of us knew that one day our ideas of the women we wanted to be would differ so much. But is it fair to handicap our aspirations to salvage a friendship that leads us away from those dreams? No, it wasn’t! I came to realize that I could love this girl and let her go. I could let her flourish from a distance and still flourish myself. So as reluctant as I was, when opportunity struck apart of me knew to let nature takes its course.
Two years have passed and even though the scar is still on my heart I have accepted the loss. I have since come to respect the new friendships that I build much greater and have learned to welcome growth both personally and socially.
So, Collegiettes, if you find your situation similar to mine, consider this; maybe this disaster break-up was a positive.
Whether you’re a freshman attending your first year of college, your scared and feel alone or a second-semester junior whose overwhelmed and lacking social interaction, use this experience as an opportunity to grow as a person. Go out and join a club that’s close to your major, find a job working with your passion, and just surround yourself with things and people that bring you closer to your hopes and dreams! Be someone strong enough to accept the loss and still be great!