In one of my first-year tutorials, a few classmates were talking about their residences and their experiences during O-Week. At one point, one of them turned to me and asked me what rez I was in, so I told them I lived off campus. Affronted, they asked me why.
Having to explain myself for living off campus became a common theme throughout my first year. The choice to be OC was never enough in itself; it always had to be backed up with excuses and awkward laughs and a superficial “I wish I was in residence, though!” It was painted as second choice – a lesser standard of living for those who couldn’t afford to be in rez. To actively choose it was unfathomable. Though I was warned it was harder to make friends in first year when living off campus, the struggle did not come from being unable to meet to people. It came from my discomfort over how people looked at me when they found out I wasn’t “one of them” – I just floated outside their community and trespassed on their ground.
The stigma surrounding off-campus living is saturated with casual classism. For many like myself, living off campus stems from monetary problems. When I told that to those who asked for an explanation, however, I was always either met with pitying glances over Macbook screens or flippantly told to “just get a scholarship”. I suddenly felt shamefaced for living in a home that had been my haven my whole life. While I was aware of our economic standing throughout high school, it wasn’t until my home was deemed unacceptable that I truly felt misplaced in my community, and the rift between economic classes on campus became apparent to me. My point is not to begrudge those who grew up in households without these struggles, nor am I denying the privilege that I carry for being able to attend school at all. Rather, I want to stop the pattern of first years feeling the need to apologize for living at home.
The benefits of living at home, after all, are plentiful, albeit rarely acknowledged. It was in this time of living with my parents as a new adult that I came to understand what they went through when I was a child. We talked about all the things I couldn’t know when I was growing up – all the overtime they had concealed, all the Christmases that almost weren’t. To be forced to feel any guilt for living with these people is to discredit the years of sacrifices they have made and negate all the pride I feel for being their daughter. Living in a household of headstrong adults with unyielding opinions is a trying experience for both parties, but it was with every argument that we came to understand and accept each other that little bit more, and I can only feel grateful for that.
Beyond that, living off campus has tied me to London. My life here started in family-run restaurants and hidden paths in my neighbourhood, and while I cherish the Western community, I am grateful to know my city and what it holds beyond the Richmond gates. Just because I traded floor parties for Springbank picnics does not make my life any less lived, or my Western experience any less fulfilling.
It is time we changed the conversation around living off campus. No, some of us may not be able to afford residence, but don’t think for a second that our lives are any less rich.
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