My mom is the reason I write. Not only did she teach me how to read, to write my name, and helped me to complete that JK homework on time, but she fuelled my creativity. My mom allowed me to be whatever I wanted. She allowed me to quit ballet and try something new. She allowed me to test the waters. She let me be dramatic, to throw a fit, and then to learn from it when I didn’t get what I wanted. My mom let me explore the forests in my grandfathers backyard and didn’t say, “I told you so” when I ran too fast and scraped my knee. My mother held me when I cried, but let me truly feel my emotions. She brought me to charity events to rid me of ignorance and to open my eyes. My mother’s own marriage didn’t work, but she still let me believe in fairy tales. My mother isn’t perfect, but my mother is the reason I write. She is therefore the reason I can vent, speak honestly, tell a story, believe in love, express my emotions, help others, and heal my own soul with just a pen and paper, even when it hurts. My mother is the reason I am writing this, and the reason I have written so many other things that have changed my life… Without her I would not be me, I would not be Campus Correspondent of this amazing magazine… for that, and so much more, I am so thankful for my Mom.
– Kellie Anderson
“The older I get, the more selective I am of who is in my tribe. I would rather have four quarters than a hundred pennies.” – Unknown
I have my own version of a ‘tribe’ – I call them my ‘call in the middle of the night friends’. They are that small handful of precious women I know, without doubt, have my back and would do anything to help if I called them in the middle of the night and said “I need you”. They wouldn’t say ‘can we chat tomorrow’ ‘this isn’t a good time’ or ‘but its cold outside’ – their answer would be short and sweet; ‘what can I do’ or ‘I’m on my way (and bringing red wine!)’.
In this social media world, ‘friendship’ is defined more by the number of friends and likes and followers we have than by the depth of those connections. When you’re young that makes sense – you are first and foremost learning about who you are so the people you connect with are varied and there is ebb and flow to them. As you learn more about who you are, develop your interests and expand your community those connections broaden and change.
Throughout our childhood and youth we connect with people we are sure will be our BFF’s for life. As we age (and have the benefit of hindsight and experience) we realize that isn’t usually the case. We are lucky as women to carry through to adulthood a precious few friends from those grade school, high school and university years. We also meet people beyond that point who we never saw coming – the neighbour, the hockey mom or the co-worker who become one of those precious few. It’s hard to tell a young person (with hundreds of Facebook friends) that right now but trust me, there are women nodding their heads in agreement to what I’m saying (I hope) and one day you will understand too.
The one’s who really stick are the ones you connect with at a much deeper level – you trust them completely, you respect them and you learn from them. They can offer you an emotional slap upside the head and you say ‘ah-ha’ not ‘go away’. They know when to talk and when to simply be silent and hug you. They know if you haven’t connected in days or weeks or months that it has nothing to do with your friendship – its life – and life is busy for us women. But when you do connect it’s like you’ve never been apart and the time together enriches your spirit.
I am blessed with my handful of quarters… my tribe. We’ve seen each other through an awful lot – marriages, divorces, career changes, financial loss, the births and deaths of children, breast cancer, the declining health of our parents, loneliness, hopelessness and a variety of joyous, amazing times together where we have laughed ‘til we pee’d (often involving that bottle of red wine I mentioned before). My tribe may be small but they are mighty and wise and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
I can only hope my daughter Kellie will be as fortunate as I am in finding her priceless handful of quarters as she finishes her university years and launches into her career and future adventures. I suspect she won’t have too much trouble given how much love, friendship, wit, wisdom and insight she has to offer others. I know that in my heart and my soul because she is one of my shiniest quarters!
– Kellie’s Momma